Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2007 April
2007 January
2006 December
2006 November
2006 October
2006 September
2006 August
2006 July
2006 June
2006 May
2006 April
2006 March
2006 February
2006 January
2005 December
2005 November
2005 October
2005 September
2005 August
2005 July
2005 June
2005 May
2005 April
2005 March
2005 February
2005 January
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
2004 February
2004 January
2003 December
2003 November
My Links
Bobby Joe
Daft and Demented
AESav - AE's new home
Joolieblog II
Krazedone's Blog
Irishred (aka ApplesnOranges)
Andaloo
Sillygrrl
Crap Pix - Really
Briggsy
Anagamesx's Blog
Susan of Pudlin and the "Puds"
Fotocali on tblog
Fark all day - you know you want to
Lynne (aka ThingsIKnow)
Big Doral
Mark's Life
Flaring and her Fish that were once Fry
Ladyblog
Tenkin - not to be forgotten
Hhunter's Blog
The Original Natblog
Nattoons's Blog
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| Greetings from Chilly Florida |
| 12.24.03 (11:22 am) [edit] |
Well actually it's not that bad. It was in the 60's (F) today but since I had packed shorts and tank tops, it's still wasn't warm enough. I know I have no right to complain. Some of you have driveways to clear of snow and single-digit temperatures, but you know me (tragically self-involved 20-something), I have to bitch and moan.
I'm in central Florida with my Uncle and his wife, my cousins, my Mom and brother, enjoying the family togetherness. In the next three days some of my Mom's siblings will be stopping by to see her (she has 10 in all) and their kids and their kid's kids will be coming along too. My Uncle has a huge house but it's gonna be cramped pretty soon and you know what, I'm loving it. I don't mind sharing a bed with 2 other people or sleeping on the floor if necessary. I don't mind babysitting younger cousins or listening to my Uncle's corny jokes or helping to prepare a meal for 20+ people. It just feels so good when the door bell rings and you know that another 5 family members you haven't seen in years have arrived.
I get gooseflesh when my Mom and her brothers and sisters get together and try to remember the last time they were all under the same roof and how strict my grandfather was, and how my Mom was the good one and how my Uncle was a trouble maker and how my other Uncle was a spoiled brat and had to have Pepsi with dinner everynight or else he would throw a tantrum and then they would disagree over who was the bed-wetter. I could go on, but you get the picture. When I see my Mom and her siblings together I think that there is nothing that could divide them. They always seem to know exactly what is going on in each other's lives. There's no time wasted in catching up on news that is more than a day old.
All of this makes me think about my brothers and how we are with each other. Will we be the same? Will we keep up the traditions with my cousins? It would be such a loss if we all drifted apart. Just knowing how good this all feels, we can't let that happen.
I wish you all the best this holiday season and hope that 2004 will be a banner year for all of us in our relationships, our careers, our spirituality, our personal development. For those of you who are travelling, be safe! Love you guys!
Nat and Sherbert
|
|
10 Comments
|
| |
| Eyewitness |
| 12.18.03 (9:38 pm) [edit] |
[A random soldier shared this video footage with NNN - Nonsense News Network. We apologize for the poor video quality]
Soldier: I was there. And this is how it went down
[Yeah, everybody's skin was yellow, just like on the Simpsons.]
|
|
6 Comments
|
| |
| Under the Mistletoe |
| 12.18.03 (12:41 pm) [edit] |
So after I bumped into my new love in the copier room and found out that he has a voice like a frog, picks his nose in public and has a steady girlfriend, I decided to head off thoughts of suicide by writing up my list of people I'd like to find under the mistletoe. They are not in any order of snoggability.
The Snog List:
1.Viggo Mortensen - viggolicious!
2. Rick Warden - goes without saying.
3. Craig - he's got the beef. Beef wellington, that is! :)
4. Cate Blanchett - I'm pretty secure in my heterosexuality but I love this woman!
5. Ken Watanabe - my first samurai
6. Captain Jack Sparrow - no not Johnny Depp. I want the Cap'n!!!
7. Jon Wright - **SHOCKER** I've only seen him from the neck up. Thank goodness his lips are on his head. Hehehehe.
8. Fotocali
9. Ed Harris - I don't know why, but I think he's just brilliant!
10.Kyan Douglas - why couldn't he be straight! Story of my life.
11. Peter Jennings -weird weird weird but true!
12.Colin 'F**king Farrell
13.Damian Lewis - it's a ginger thing!
Then there's my secret fantasy snog! You know who you are!! :)
Of course, Budget did not make my list, simply because he would be sick to the stomach if I put him in the company of Colin Farrell and the like. Otherwise, surely if the majority of the male population were to die off or develop canker sores, dearest Budget would be right up there on the snog list. Anyway, I kid because I care. So y'all remember to keep those lips moist for me by drinking lots of water and wearing chapstick.
|
|
11 Comments
|
| |
| Snog List |
| 12.17.03 (11:08 pm) [edit] |
Tomorrow I will post my snog list: 13 persons that I would like to catch under the mistletoe at a party this holiday season.
People who failed to make it into my top 13 - Tom Cruise, Dick Cheney, David Schwimmer, Paris Hilton and you (most likely because I haven't met you yet, you sexy minx!!)
Until then, I'd like to know who you'd like to pucker up to. Who's on your snog list?
|
|
10 Comments
|
| |
| I'm in Love!!! |
| 12.17.03 (3:15 pm) [edit] |
Again, for the 40th time this year. Ok, may be it's not love. I'm in serious like then. Well, may be not even that. It's a serious crush then. Damn it! Even that is a stretch. Truth is, some random guy just walked down the hall in front of my office and he has the nicest smile. I don't mean he has super-white teeth or that they're perfectly straight. I hate that. Looks so unnatural. His smile is easy and sincere and warm and he had a twinkle in his eye suggesting confidence but not cockiness. He smelled awesome too. He wasn't wearing any of that over-bearing musk or after-shave or designer cologne. He just smelled manly. Must find out his name, his marital status, his astrological sign, where he did his undergrad, if he has piercings or tattoos, if he moves his lips while reading, if he closes his eyes when he kisses....yadda yadda yadda!
I must try not to get carried away. Must get back to work.
|
|
8 Comments
|
| |
| Captain Jack Sparrow |
| 12.16.03 (11:46 pm) [edit] |
Mal created this fansite after seeing Pirates of the Caribbean 9 times in the cinema. Check it out. I made a few of the wallpapers myself.
Here's a preview:
|
|
1 Comments
|
| |
| You're so vain! |
| 12.16.03 (3:42 pm) [edit] |
You probably think this blog is about you! And you'd be right, damn it! Hate it when you're right.
You know who you are. You're that guy with that blog, always talking about how bad your life is and how everybody else around you is stupid or doesn't get you and how some day they'll realize their mistakes and make you king of the universe and circumcise their sons in your temple blah blah blah.
Don't act like you haven't thought about it!! Don't act like you've never fantasized about a threesome!! Yes, you! The guy with those pants and that shirt with those buttons and the collar. You own a jacket and a tie. You have 10 fingers and 10 toes. You eat cereal in the morning. I know you! I see right through you! You and your laptop/PC/cellphone/palm pilot/X-Box/PS2/DVD player. I'm talking about you. I'm gonna tell your secrets to the world!! I'm gonna tell everybody how you were born of a woman and that you grew taller as you got older and how your voice changed in your teens and how you have chest hair and hair under your armpits!! I'll tell it all!
I'm gonna tell everybody how your breath stinks first thing in the morning, how you fart when you're alone, how you drink straight from the milk carton, how you scratch yourself, how you pee standing up, how you hate razor burn,....
I could go on!! And I will, just you wait and see.
Hehehehe.
|
|
1 Comments
|
| |
| Naughty or Nice? |
| 12.15.03 (3:02 pm) [edit] |
Well, I guess it's time to take stock of the past year and figure out whether or not I am a better person that I was this time last year. I'm tempted to say the same without doing too much soul searching because I might not like what I find. So let's get the scale out and see how things stack up.
Naughty:
1. Didn't double check my tax return
2. Ate Dulce de Leche ice-cream for dinner everyday for a week
3. Deliberately avoided answering my Uncle's 6:00 am phone calls and then lied that I was in the shower when he called.
4. Lied about sex (I do not wish to elaborate).
5. Paid for one movie at the cineplex but saw two instead (x 2)
6. Told a girl her hair looked pretty when I really thought she looked like she had a dried up skunk on her head
7. Did not call my brother Car as often as I had promised
8. Yelled at my other brother Bud and made him sound like a complete tosser on my blog when he's really just a nice guy who makes mistakes like everybody else.
9. Lied to my mother about dating so she would get off my back
10.Lied about going to church so my Mom would get off my back
11.Fantasized about unavailable men and the demise of their current relationships
12.Wore a bra one size too small to enhance my cleavage and pretended that it wasn't cutting off circulation to my brain
13.Lost my temper too many times to count.
14.Swore
15.Got pissed (whoops! swore again)
16.Failed to play a successful and rewarding prank on AE
Nice:
1. Donated clothes and money to various charities and was not super-stingy with tithing as in previous years
2. Baked cookies for people from scratch
3. Helped an old lady who had fallen and couldn't get up
4. Helped an old friend get it up
5. Made a whole bunch of new friends
6. Brushed my teeth twice daily - got a perfect write up from the dentist
7. Went to Walmart 20 times in 2 weeks with Ju and P and did not complain - Giantsfan says that qualifies me for sainthood.
8. Apologized when I was wrong instead of blame-shifting and bringing up others' mistakes.
9. Nominated someone in the office for "What Not to Wear"
10.Quit drinking caffeine
11.Ate asparagus and broccoli twice weekly
12.Went on a date with a guy with bird crap on his head and man-boobs
13.Bought Christmas gifts for all of my friends knowing that I'd get nothing in return
14.Haven't tried to kill Giantsfan since moving into this office.
15.Kept at least 51% of my promises
16.Tutored a student for $5/hour less than the going rate (and not just because he looks like Colin Farrell).
I struggled to compose the nice list (48 minutes) while the naughty took me 2 minutes to come up with - I'm screwed. Lots of coal in my stockings this year.
|
|
4 Comments
|
| |
| It's Only A Paper Moon |
| 12.13.03 (4:38 pm) [edit] |
I'm feeling really mellow right now. I'm listening to a Nat King Cole CD I compiled for my Dad when he was in the hospital. "Fly Me To the Moon" reminds me of those Sunday afternoons after dinner when I would dance on Daddy's shoe-tops. I'm home again , I'm 5 years old, Daddy is secretly Superman and James Bond, Mommy knows how to make every hurt feel better and my brother Bud is a toad-collecting silly boy and my big brother Car can fix anything with a circuit. :P
"It wouldn't be make believe if you believe in me."
As we get older and our energy reserves are depleted we lose that ability to fend off depressing thoughts and brush off disappointment. Sometimes it's nice to be reminded of the optimism of younger days.
I'd like to say my Dad named me after the legendary singer but the truth is I was named after a woman who played a prostitute in a Russian movie. Makes a good story I guess.
"It's a Barnum & Bailey world."
|
|
8 Comments
|
| |
| Murphy Post-Op |
| 12.13.03 (12:02 pm) [edit] |
My 9 year old pooch, Murphy, had surgery this week. She was diagnosed with breast cancer around this time last year and my cousin who is a vet told us that there was no hope and we should have her put down. Murphy was my Dad's favorite and Mom wasn't ready to make that kind of decision, so she waited. Murphy struggled along for a few months, growing weaker but always in good spirits. When I saw her in September she looked so scrawny and drawn down. She had always been a fat dog. The tumor was growing out of control. In October Mommy got a second opinion and the doctor said she was willing to operate on Murphy and start her on a light round of chemo. Spoke to Mom last night and she said the surgery was a success and that Murphy was doing very well. Her appetite is back in full swing and who knows she could be a fat little porker again. My brother Bud and I find it odd that my cousin who had been Murphy's vet since birth was so ready to give up on her while this new doctor saw hope. Bud is a little disappointed with him, but you've got to realize that no one is perfect and may be Murphy's condition was beyond him. Just wish he could have told us that. Mom would have gotten a second opinion sooner. I now the life of one little dog doesn't amount to a hill of beans in this world, but I'd still like to thank God for small miracles.
Here's to Murphy. May your rump be round and plump again! May Mommy be forgiving when you start rolling around in the laundry basket again. Hope Mitch (my other doggie) sniffs your butt!
|
|
1 Comments
|
| |
| Dear Santa |
| 12.12.03 (10:42 pm) [edit] |
If you have any spare room in the red sack, here are a few things I'd like you to put under the tree. I realize that some of these things may not fit into neat little packages but I'm sure you'll find a way. I realize I'm probably too old to believe in you, I don't actually, but I thought: "what the heck!"
CDs:
1. Heavier Things - John Mayer
2. Let it be: Naked - The Beatles
3. More Than You Think You Are - Matchbox Twenty
4. In Time: The Best of R.E.M. 1988-2003 - R.E.M.
5. Home - The Dixie Chicks
6. Fallen - Evanescence
7. Parachutes - Coldplay
DVDs:
1. Spirited Away
2. Pride and Prejudice (Colin Firth)
3. The Incredible Adventures of Wallace and Gromit
4. El Mariachi
5. American Psycho
6. The Office Season 1
7. Dr. Strangelove
8. Smallville Season 1
Books:
1. The Silmarillion - J.R.R. Tolkien
2. Orlando - Virgina Woolf
3. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
4. The Pacific War - John Costello
5. D Day: June 6, 1944: The Climactic Battle of World
War II - Stephen Ambrose
6. It - Stephen King
7. Watchers - Dean Koontz
Other stuff:
1. Mini Mag Lite
2. Mussette Bag
3. Chandelier Earrings
4. Italian Lord of the Rings movie poster (Viggo prominent).
Here
5. PDA
6. Audi A6
7. A Flying Car
8. A personal assistant
9. A new boyfriend (the old was boring and crusty)
10. One more day with my Dad
|
|
1 Comments
|
| |
| The worst thing I've ever done |
| 12.12.03 (2:06 pm) [edit] |
I'll make this short. Well, short by my standards. If you want more details, I'll be glad to give them, but I am ashamed of my immature behavior. In my first year of grad school, I got the grand idea of breaking my friends in (i.e. letting them know that 1) I'm not sweet and innocent 2) I have a wicked sense of humor 3) Don't ever mess with me or make fun of people in wheelchairs!). So I picked Mr. Picky as my target. I made him believe that some girl in a wheelchair (who he had carelessly discarded after she gave him oral sex) was stalking him. The prank went on for a period of 3 months. Every two weeks or so I would leave him a note or something to let him know he was being observed. He totally freaked out. He wasn't scared enough to call the police or anything, but he was inclined to describe to his drinking buddies what it's like to do it in a wheelchair with the brakes released.
Then I sent my final note saying that she wanted to meet him and was coming to the department to meet him that afternoon and not to be scared as she had no intention of drugging him, kidnapping him and raping him. Yeah, I actually wrote that. He went nuts. He said his only comfort was that the elevator was broken and we were on the 4th floor. He still didn't want to call the police cuz he found the attention intoxicating and flattering. I will never understand men. It wasn't until the 4pm deadline was approaching that I began to feel guilty. Mr. Picky was agitated and pacing up and down the hall way. Finally he confessed to me that he was sh-t-scared. So I confessed to the whole thing. I asked Shagman to stand between us in case Mr. Picky tried to kill me. What happened next completely shocked me.
Mr. Picky congratulated me on pulling the most creative, spectacular, twisted and hysterical prank he had ever been a part of. He went around the office telling people how awesome and brilliant he thought I was. He printed the notes I sent to him and showed all his friends. "It's so authentic-like. She's so good." He emailed his family and friends said notes. I just remembered feeling utterly confused. I didn't sleep for a week. I was worried he was setting me up for a counter-prank. Later on he assured me that he would never do such a thing. He said he could never match the level of patience and planning. I began to think that either he's mentally ill or I'm mentally ill or we both need to get help. Still not sure which is the case. 5 years later Mr. Picky is still one of my good friends. And he has yet to get even with me.
|
|
5 Comments
|
| |
| #99! |
| 12.11.03 (8:07 pm) [edit] |
Man, someone made a huge mistake. Hope it doesn't get them fired. I'm #99 on the hotblogs list. Who would have thought? Thanks, Trina for pointing it out. Still don't feel deserving, but that doesn't mean that you, gentle reader, should stop reading. What's the record for shortest stay on the list? Hehehehe.
I'll try not to let it go to my head. Whoops! Too late.
My friend AE has a huge crush on this bloke named Peter O'Meara. Mal and I think his head is shaped like an old-fashioned TV-set. To make my point I wrote a poem to dear AE in the hopes that she would come to her senses.
Ode to A Microwave Head
(ripped off from John Keats)
No, no, go not to Peter, neither tryst
With microwave/TV-head, or for him pine;
Nor suffer thy poor friends to be miff'd
By Irish-cubic head and ruby cheeks so fine;
Make not your IM buddies pose queries,
Nor let The Beatle haired, nor the hot Rick be
Spurned by your mournful obsession, nor the dower cowl
A partner in your sordid reveries;
For frame to frame will irk me bitterly,
And pale my thoughts of bushybrow and weary my soul.
How is it, AE, that I like him not?
How came ye to love so priggish a mask?
Was it a silent deep disguised plot
To drool away, and leave undone the task
Of Rick's fansite? Ripe he is and needs a shower;
A capful of chlorine and colognes of fresh scents
To fight the stench. I dislike him less and less;
The weirdest thing, you like him more by the hour.
O why did ye not stick with Rick, use your sense
Update the site ! I expect nothing less.
O Epic shape! Forehead latitude to dread!
Yet with marvellous eyes strained in pensive thought
With arms like branches and skin so red;
Your silent admiration does make Mal overwrought,
As doth cramps from irritable bowels!
When old age shall this cube-head waste,
Thou shalt remain, in midst of other ho's,
Remember us, be a friend to Mal, to whom thou say'st
"Beauty is Peter, Peter beauty," - that is all
Ye know right now, and all ye wish to know.
|
|
0 Comments
|
| |
| I'm in no rush! |
| 12.11.03 (1:50 pm) [edit] |
I'm not that prehistoric. In the last two weeks I have been asked at least 10 times by at least half a dozen people if I don't want to get married and start a family and what am I waiting on. "You don't want to be an old maid, do you?" Good grief! Leave me alone. Why do people feel the need to tell me I need to breed? Lately, I've been dreading going to family events for this single reason (pun intended).
I'm flattered that they care and think my genes are worth propagating but I don't like being pressured into anything. I had an uncle ask me if I was a lesbian. If it's not my own relatives, it's the people at church. If it's not the people at church it's some random person at the DMV or the tax office who looks at my ID and sees my age and marital status and asks, "What's wrong with you? How come a nice girl like you doesn't have a hubby?"
The answer is simple. It's not that I don't want a family, it's just not my time yet. I'm not saying this just to convince myself. I'm just a little annoyed that other people are panicking on my behalf so unnecessarily. I refuse to start panicking and acting all desperate. Would it make you feel better, Auntie M, if I was out there with a taser and handcuffs trying to bag my own man?
By constantly reminding me that "the clock is ticking", these well-intentioned souls are just making matters worse. I don't think there's anything wrong with me but all these questions are putting doubts in my head, making me a little paranoid, very insecure. I know you want to help and offer advice and support but sometimes you need to have a little faith in me and my single sisters that what's supposed to happen will happen when it's supposed to happen.
Anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest.
|
|
13 Comments
|
| |
| Random thoughts |
| 12.09.03 (11:22 pm) [edit] |
I'm scared to open door numbers 1-3.
They all lead to pain,
They all lead to loss, they all lead to chaos.
And they all lead to more choices.
I have to choose.
The new me is waiting behind any door.
May be there isn't a wrong door just like there isn't a right choice.
Then why the fear you ask?
Regret. I'm scared of regretting the door unchosen.
I am so tired of all this crap.
When am I gonna start living for real?
I feel like I'm a chick stuck in my egg-shell.
I want out. Why can't they hear me?
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs.
|
|
0 Comments
|
| |
| And the band played on |
| 12.09.03 (11:14 pm) [edit] |
Singing where the streets have no name
And I realized I can't live with or without you.
So maybe I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
So if you don't like pop or my zoo station,
May be tomorrow will be a beautiful day;
A day without war in God's country.
And the mothers of the disappeared
Will no longer sing Sunday, bloody Sunday.
While in the indian summer sky,
I'll be running to stand still
Cuz all I want is you
And your mysterious ways.
I'm stuck in a moment
Wondering where did it all go wrong.
Wish I didn't trip through your wires.
Even when two hearts beat as one,
And feel the unforgettable fire,
Things can still go helter skelter.
Who ever said love is blindness was right.
So who's gonna ride your wild horses?
Not I. Only if God will send his angels.
|
|
2 Comments
|
| |
| I wished you'd love me too |
| 12.08.03 (9:40 pm) [edit] |
I keep thinking about what you said.
Your words ring loud in my head.
I can't forget the look on your face,
The last time you were in my place.
Back then I wished you'd love me too.
I didn't understand that it wasn't in you.
It wasn't your choice to make.
Didn't make sense for you to fake
Feelings that you don't own.
Since then I have grown.
I've loved and been loved and I know
True love means knowing and letting go
Accepting love when it's offered freely,
Separating a crush from love felt deeply.
I learned so much the day I met you.
Things that will always hold true.
I think you saved me from bitterness.
You're my best friend, nothing less.
|
|
4 Comments
|
| |
| Movie Review: The Last Samurai |
| 12.06.03 (11:36 pm) [edit] |
So after a split-second decision, I saw The Last Samurai instead of Master and Commander and boy was I sorry. There were some brilliant moments in this movie, some moments where Tom Cruise didn't over-act or just stand there trying to look stoic or brooding, unfortunately those moments were few and far between. The one saving grace of the film was the powerful and magnetic performance by Ken Watanabe, who I seriously wanted to shag on first glance ( and that only happens ever so often - thrice daily :lol:). Ken plays the Samurai warriors' leader, Katsumoto, and he's so good it made putting up with all the headache-inducing glamor shots of Tom Cruise worth it. There were way too many shampoo commercials in this film as the directors seem to have fallen in love with Tom's hair and how it flows in the wind. In the end I had hoped to learn more about the ways of the Samurai instead of suffering through an idiot's guide narrated by Tommy. I felt robbed. If the editors/producers/directo r had spent more time focusing on the history and the Samurai way and why it was so powerful and important to preserve it, I would have come out of this movie filled with more emotion. Instead we just get told over and over again by Tommy's monotone narration that they are a beautiful and disciplined people then it's cut to glamor shot #232 of Tom meditating or Tom breathing hard or Tom reliving his demons or Tom staring intently at some distant object. Then there's the stylized action sequences. Mostly brilliant and well shot but sometimes the slow-motion gets a bit tiresome and you find yourself wishing you were watching Gladiator or Braveheart instead, so you could get your fix.
If Tom Cruise wins an Oscar for this role, I have to tell you that it will be the happiest day for him and the biggest disappointment of the year for me because I did not see this man stretch himself. To me he plays the character he has ALWAYS played: a man who is the best at what he does, falls from grace, faces a moral dilemma and must overcome great odds in the end ( see Top Gun, Days of Thunder, both Mission Impossibles, Vanilla Sky, Jerry MacGuire, The Firm, ....if you don't believe me).
Why this movie is bad and it's not just Tom's fault:
1. The writing is a bit cliche. Yes, it is a historical piece but every bit of dialogue in every scene is as predictable as my period and that's saying a lot.
2. The pacing is uneven and there are moments you wish to nod off. How many times do we need to see sequences of people staring knowingly at each other?
3. It's too long. It's only 2 hours and 30 minutes but the plot only warranted 1 hour and 45 minutes.
4. As Nig said to me, a movie about Samurai's should just have Japanese or asian actors in it. It should just be about them. There is no need to prove that white men can jump throughout the course of the film. :P
5. A stellar supporting cast goes for the most part under-utitlized. Tony Goldwyn's character is just a very bad man/Disney-style villain. No complexity what-so-ever.
And the number one no-no of the film:
6. Not enough time exploring Japanese culture.
|
|
4 Comments
|
| |
| Hush! |
| 12.05.03 (1:14 pm) [edit] |
Hush my baby!
Rest your weary head on my shoulder.
Hush my sweet child!
When tomorrow comes it will be over.
The pain that you feel now
Will be suddenly carried away in a tide.
The sun will shine on you.
Your well of hope will be deep and wide.
You'll forget this damned day,
As your cares melt away.
Hush my baby!
Hush my sweet child!
Things can only get better.
Just wait a while.
|
|
0 Comments
|
| |
| I could use some good news |
| 12.04.03 (2:38 pm) [edit] |
Let's just say it's been some time since my family had good news. Scratch that. We've had good news only to find out it was false or fleeting.
Lastnight I had a nightmare about my brother. For some reason the Department of Homeland Security came for him in the middle of the night. We weren't allowed to see him or communicate with him. I was so scared. My brother's your average joe with no interests in politics other than his collection of funny quotes by the prez. Can't see that being a reason. Still, why would I dream such a thing? Am I just scared of my family being torn apart?
I worry about both of my brothers constantly. As for my Mom, my biggest fear is that she will crack under all the strain of her stressful life. She's everybody's rock. If she goes, the whole house crumbles.
It's been a while since we had any good news.
|
|
5 Comments
|
| |
| THEY DID IT! THE NERDS DID IT |
| 12.04.03 (1:24 am) [edit] |
Sweet! We just need mass-production. Thanks to gfak for sending me this link.
The Skycar
Be sure to check out the flight videos!!
I must say that at a price of $750,000 it's a steal. Think I'll wait a few decades until it's in my budget or I'm a multi-millionaire. Wonder if you need a pilot's license to operate this baby.
|
|
3 Comments
|
| |
| The Wright Stuff |
| 12.03.03 (2:43 pm) [edit] |
On December 17th, 1903 at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, the Wright brothers made history in 12 seconds. With Wilbur as the pilot, they made the first controlled, sustained flight in a power-driven heavier-than-air aircraft. They have been credited as the fathers of aviation - the inventors of the airplane. In two weeks we will celebrate the 100th anniversary of this feat that has changed our way of living - it's made the world so much smaller. One could say that the telephone, television and the internet have made the world even smaller but I feel nothing beats flying across the world and actually being there. So now I have to ask what's next?
Where are the flying cars I was promised? Where are the jet-packs (not the dangerous looking ones I see on NOVA or the Discovery Channel - I mean the user-friendly, compact ones on the Jetsons)? The flying cruise ships? The beach-front 5-star hotel on the Sea of Tranquility? Where is the next Wilbur or Orville Wright? Hope I'm not coming off as ungrateful, I'm not. Call me impatient. From the day a child is born, he/she dreams of flying. I'm no different. I want to fly. I want to fly on my own - not in an air-sardine can with 200 other sad people. Hand-gliding/paragliding etc. just ain't cutting it. I want to soar. I want to go into my parking lot, hop in a vehicle and 5 minutes later cruise at an altitude of 30,000 feet on my way to Grandma's house in Jamaica. Man, that would be sweet.
I know there are folks out there with their own airplane or private jet, but that's not what I'm talking about. That's only available to the elite. When will individual flight be available to the masses? Plus I don't want to have to deal with airport traffic control, renting airport hanger space and all that. Sometimes I think I'll be long dead and gone before the cool stuff gets here, like 0 calorie/carbohydrate Dulce de Leche icecream that tastes the same as the thunder thigh inducing full-calorie version currently in your grocer's freezer. I'd be willing to bury myself in a lab for years to invent these things if I had the mental capacity, but, alas, I'm not so hot at math (I add with my fingers). So I guess I'm counting on the millions of brainiacs out there to rescue me from a life this ordinary. So all you nerds out there feeling under-appreciated and needing encouragement. I'm here. I don't have much money, but I'll bake you cookies, I'll let you stay at my place instead of your Mom's basement, I'd even let you tell people I'm your girlfriend. Just get out there and invent me my flying car!!
Thank you in advance.
|
|
2 Comments
|
| |
| All I want for Christmas |
| 12.02.03 (3:09 pm) [edit] |
1. World Peace - everybody says it, but I really mean it.
2. A World ban on chives - YECH!!!
3. My own TV show called "The Bullshit Detective" - I'd be a Columbo/Miss Marple hybrid and I'd go around telling people they're full of it but in a posh English accent so they'd think I'm giving them a compliment.
4. A single remote control that would control the TV, the DVD player, the VCR, the lights, the thermostat, my nextdoor neighbor's volume, the stupid paper boy who slams the newspaper on my doorstep at 6am, my appetite, the traffic lights, the checkout lane at the grocery store, my supervisor and, of course, the weather.
5. Someone to snuggle on the couch with me and drink egg-nog while watching The Christmas Story.
Honestly, I don't think that's asking for too much, but just in case those things aren't available here is the real list I sent to my family:
1. A new vaccum cleaner with mutliple attachments, preferrably bagless, so I can continue to be a neat/germ freak
2. The Office Season 1 DVD set - probably the funniest show on television.
3. A Spa Day (with or without Colin Farrell)
4. Dr Strangelove DVD
5. The Complete Far Side by Gary Larson
|
|
3 Comments
|
| |
| The Low Down |
| 12.01.03 (10:02 pm) [edit] |
My holiday weekend was ok. Not awesome, not amazing, nothing special, no fireworks, no random shagging of complete strangers, no accidents with the electric carving knife, didn't get pulled over by the police, didn't get to slide down the fireman's pole. Nothing happened, except that I kept having breast-related accidents. In October I was haunted by phallic images, in November I won the booby prize.
Boob-job #1: The day after Thanksgiving, my brother and I decided to go watch a movie. I wanted to see Master and Commander or Bad Santa. Bud doesn't like adventures on the high seas or Russel Crowe and he wants to save Bad Santa for a date (that he doesn't even have yet). Yeah, once again, I get passed over for girlfriend of the week/day/moment/future. Anyway, we ended up seeing Timeline because I apparently bought him the book it's based on and Paul Walker is hot. That's right, you heard it here. Paul Walker is hot! The cinema has stadium seating and the rows are pretty close together. While watching the previews, this lady and her hubby try to squeeze pass the people sitting directly behind us. I felt her sweater fall on my head. So I look up and behind to see what's up, just in time to see these really large mammary glands heading towards my face. WHAM! Right on the kisser, as they used to say. I move my head in time to avoid her armpit, but the damage is already done. Let's just say she didn't smell fresh. She says, "Excuse me," and continues down the row like it was nothing - the most natural thing in the world. UGH! I'm desperately trying to erase the smell of stale powder and rancid butter from my nostrils. The movie was pants by the way.
Boob-job #2: On Saturday, I was at a dinner-party and I decided to wear these boots with 3 and a half inch heels, just because I hate myself. I spent most of the party balancing myself from chair to chair and walking super slow. After waiting 3 hours for dinner to be served, everybody descended on the kitchen where the buffet was. I got there after most people and was famished. Moving from the kitchen counter to the breakfast nook proved to be treacherous. I skidded on a kitchen mat and with my dodgy shoes lost my balance. I reached out for the nearest person, which happened to be another seriously well-endowed woman. As I steadied myself, I realized I had used her breasts like handle bars and had undone her front-closing bra. I was so embarrassed and she seemed more concerned that I hadn't injured myself. She didn't even run to the bathroom or anything, she just continued to serve food like what happened was the most natural thing in the world. UGH!
Boob-job #3: I went to church on Sunday morning and decided to wear a boatneck blouse with a demi-bra. Note to self: no amount of cleavage is acceptable at church. Now I probably lost you guys with the demi-bra. A demi-bra is like a balcony in shape, it lifts and separates but doesn't provide full coverage. Are we clear now? Can I get an "Amen"? Good. During bible study these ladies came in to teach us how to dance these spitirual dances to praise God and I was forced to volunteer. One of the moves required us to jump 4 times and yell "Hallelujah". I jumped and on the 4th jump I popped right out of my bra and flashed the other dancers. I know these are my church brethren and they are supposed to be tolerant and forgiving but I really don't want them to know me that well. I just wanted to die. Die. Die. Die.
Thus endeth my boobilicious weekend. UGH
|
|
1 Comments
|
| |
|
Ayn Rant: AESav.net
Daft and Demented: Mal Uncensored
Captain Jack Sparrow
Shop DangerKitty on Zazzle.com
|
