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| Rawking interview |
| 01.31.04 (12:44 pm) [edit] |
Rawk - tblog Celebrity, poet, chronic commentor and doer off all things great (in his mind's eye). I must apologize as I was constantly interrupted during the interview by Rawk's adoring fans. Y'all know who you are. Some of their tblurts are included in the interview but others have been edited so that their extremely flattering nature will not make Rawk blush and have a swelled head. Right now he has to have his hats and caps custom-made.
Rawk says: so DK when do i get my interview? :P
dangerkitty says: Rawk, are you wearing a toga?
Rawk says: i could be if it helps with getting an interview
dangerkitty says: it already started
Rawk says: ah well then .. no .. i'm wearing just pants with a skirt over them
dangerkitty says: 10 years from now where do you see yourself?
Rawk says: when i grow up .. i wanna be a fire truck
davymoose says: are there alot of poerty fans on tblog? (Adoring Fan #1)
Rawk says: i'm one .. addicted is one .. not sure who else .. alot of people write there own on here .. i'm one that does
dangerkitty says: Rawk, what kind of poetry?
Rawk says: My poetry is the kind from the heart...lost love ... trouble with it .. and child abuse
davymoose says: big topics
Rawk says: yah they are davy .. but i only seem to be able to write about things that happen or happened to me
dangerkitty says: My poetry would be considered brilliant at the 2nd grade level. Rawk, what makes you a celebrity?
Rawk says: The people .. cuz they tell me i am ...plus everyone here has some great rawk comment on there blog, or at least had there blog humped by me
Rawk says: i go pee .. come back and everyone is thanking each other for reasons i don't know
dangerkitty says: you should pee more often
SSWarrior says: rawk rocks (Adoring Fan # 2)
Rawk says: thank you ssw .. i rest my case .. i am a tblog celeb
dangerkitty says: do you have any super powers?
Rawk says: Yea, DK .. the power to confuse people .. i'm trying to get money for flying lessons though .. hopefully soon enough
dangerkitty says: Name one place you'd love to fly to?
Rawk says: how about venus .. so i can stop at mars on the way
dangerkitty says: makes sense. thanks for the interview.
Rawk says: you're welcome .. that made my day ... now i do feel famous
dangerkitty says: final question...your favorite curse word?
Rawk says: shit on tblog .. cuz the censor makes it funny as hell ... but a real curse word .. um .. does poo poo head count? if not then its gotta be shitters
So is this my blog's great Rawk moment or was my blog humped by Rawk? You decide.
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| Colin Farrell Interview |
| 01.30.04 (7:18 pm) [edit] |
So in my fantasy I went on the set of Alexander to chat up Colin Farrell who was in the costume department having his toga adjusted. Colin spoke so fast in his thick Irish accent that he might as well have been speaking Latin. So this is the jist of our conversation and what I think he was saying or trying to say in Latin.
Nat: Hi Colin. I just want to ask you a few questions. Is that alright?
Colin: Habe patientiam mecum, quia ursus pusilli ingenii sum verba difficilia fastidio
Translation - "Be patient with me, for I am a bear of very little brain, and long words bother me."
Nat: No problem, I'll keep things short and sweet. When you meet a woman, what is the first thing she usually says to you?
Colin: Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre
Translation - "Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me"
Nat: Haha. I see your still in character, Colin. Very good. How do you like it here so far?
Colin: Hic ego puellas multas futui
Translation - "Here I f**ked many girls"
Nat: Good for you. What are my chances then?
Colin: Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus
Translation - "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries"
Nat: So that's a no then?
The interview ended abruptly when security came to escort me off the set.
Stay tuned for more celebrity interviews in Latin.
Latin and translations provided by AE.
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| More for those in the |
| 01.30.04 (4:38 pm) [edit] |
Courtesty of AE and SomethingAwful.com
Kyan: Tom we need to rethink your whole grooming routine. You need to use less product.
Carson: OMG! Someone hasn't been shopping since Top Gun!
Director: Tom insisted that he be on the same level with the rest of the cast. We had no idea it would require such a large ladder. Damn it! It's so conspicuous.
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1 Comments
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| TV Hunks |
| 01.30.04 (12:23 pm) [edit] |
For Joolie
So Joolie threw down the challenge and I have finally decided to respond. The challenge - TV Boyfriends. I decided to move away the usual subjects (that is, no one from 24 or CSI or Band of Brothers) and list some others.
1. Phil Turner as the brawny and scrummy carpenter on House Invaders on BBC America - I love a man that's good with his hands.
2. Jack Davenport as "Steve" from Coupling on BBC America and PBS. He can also be seen as Com. Norrington in Pirates of the Caribbean.
3. Josh Duhamel as "Danny" from Las Vegas on NBC's Monday night line-up. He can also be seen in theaters in Win A Date With Tad Hamilton as "Tad".
4. Mark Valley as "Eddie" from Keen Eddie, formerly on FOX but can now be seen on Tuesday nights on BRAVO. He previously played "Jack" on the NBC soap Days of Our Lives.
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| Permanent Twilight |
| 01.29.04 (1:09 pm) [edit] |
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In my head, the sun can't seem to make up it's mind if it should be day or night. My eyes are half-closed half-opened as I lay on my bed staring out the window. The scene before me is blurry and all the colors are blending together. The green of the trees runs into the orange, red and blue sky. It's all framed by large grey and chrome sliding doors, like a freshly painted watercolor. I don't want to move. I don't even want to wiggle my big toe. For me twilight brings contentment. The stress of the day is gone, but the darkness and loneliness of the night has yet to claim another victim. Wish this feeling would last a bit longer. Wish I could bottle it. Wish I could convey the feeling better.
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2 Comments
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| Dude, where's my package? |
| 01.29.04 (12:22 pm) [edit] |
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Ugh! I hate it when I order something and it mysteriously disappears in the mail. I've been on the phone with the retailer, USPS and my local post office for the past 2 hours. I have a tracking number and I purchased insurance and still no one knows where the package is. You'd think they'd take extra-special care of things when they ask you to fork over a brickload of money for delivery. I could have been cheap and paid the first class rate, no delivery confirmation, no insurance, but no, I didn't want to take chances. What does all of this get me? A lost package and a bunch of paperwork that must be filed in order for me to recover my losses.
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2 Comments
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| Boredom |
| 01.28.04 (5:17 pm) [edit] |
I'm sitting on the couch. I can hear the beat of Shakira's "Whenever Wherever" booming through my living room wall as my neighbor cranks up her hi-fi. I look around me and all I can see are things out of place. The cordless phone is on the ottoman, my notebooks are on the floor beside my messenger bag, a pencil lies on the floor next to my sneakers, a cd case sans cd is lying open on the coffee table, my hairbrush is sticking out from under the couch. At this point I have no desire to set things right. I am beyond caring that the eggs I took out for breakfast are still on the kitchen counter warming up. Nor do I care that the sink is filled with dirty dishes. It doesn't bother me that my so-called favorite leather jacket is lying under a pair of muddy boots. I used to be such a neat freak. Everything not in use had to be in its place but not today. Today I need the chaos. Today I need to feel askew. Why? Because there's nothing on the f--king television! Nothing!
Just thought I'd share.
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3 Comments
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| Helpless |
| 01.28.04 (12:17 pm) [edit] |
I just want to go home to my Mom. Not because I am a big baby but because I feel like she needs me. She's had a rough 5 days and I'm thousands of miles away and I can't do anything about it.
First my brother was up for this job. He works part-time at this place and a full-time job opening came up. They told he basically had it. Then on Friday they gave the job to someone else. No explanation. Bud was devastated. The job was so perfect for him and he was so excited. For a few moments I was angry at God for setting him up for such disappointment. My Mom was equally disappointed. She worries constantly about Bud's future.
On Friday night my favorite aunt came home from work. My cousin San and Little Jon-Jon (the youngest of the Jons) were home waiting for her. San opened the front door to let her in but stayed inside. My aunt got her purse and briefcase from the back seat and headed for the door. Suddenly a man came from behind her wielding a machete. My aunt remembers seeing the blade glisten in the moonlight and feeling faint. She was quick thinking despite her shock. She offered him her purse and he took it gladly. Then he looked up at the open front door and seemed to want to enter the house. My aunt thought of her children and threw her briefcase at him. "Take it and go! Please!" Fortunately he listened and my aunt ran inside, locked up and called the police. My Mom's voice was shaking as she recounted the details to me on the phone. I just wanted to go home. What could I do? How could I make her feel safe?
On Monday morning my Mom was on her way to her office. She was waiting to make a turn into the office complex when a car came barreling down from the opposite direction. The other car lost control and came over onto her side of the street hitting her head on. Fortunately she was able to walk away from the accident. She did however sustain a broken hand and back and neck injuries. She called me this morning on her way to physiotherapy to tell me the news before one of my gossipy relatives got to me first.
I miss my Mommy and I feel so helpless sitting here. I should be home looking after her. That's what grown children do. When I got pneumonia two years ago she flew up to take care of me. Alas, I don't have the dough to go. I've never felt so far away in my life.
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4 Comments
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| Happy Happy Joy Joy!!! |
| 01.27.04 (4:37 pm) [edit] |
I am so excited right now!! Tom Cruise FAILED (that's right he failed!) to be nominated for The Last Samurai. All he did was f--king pose and breathe hard anyway. Ken Watanabe (a.k.a Sex on Legs) got nominated as he should. Powerful performance. Overall I am quite happy with the nominations. I'm particularly excited for Lost In Translation. Love it. Seriously though, the best news of the day was the Tommy-snub.
I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy happy happy happy happy happy happy.
Why the Tom Cruise hatred you ask? It goes way back, beyond the dumping Nicole bit. It goes back to the moment after watching Days of Thunder when I realized that Tom Cruise is an over-rated two-dimensional actor that will never stretch himself because people keep telling him how brilliant he is. He had potential. He could have been a contender. Instead he's content to live off his so-called good looks. Getting a feeling of déjà vu. Think I've gone on this rant before. Well, I'm still waiting for Jon to share his Tom Cruise story. Jon, you reading this?
Apologies to all the Tom Cruise fans. Hope you'll still want to be my neighbor :(
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6 Comments
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| She's So Heavy |
| 01.27.04 (2:54 pm) [edit] |
Said the guy in the school play when he realized that he would have to carry my character off the stage. I was made the understudy after some consultation with the drama teacher. Kids can be so cruel. This was over 13 years ago and I still remember it to this day. It still stings me like a giant wasp.
In other news, Nats Shelter for Homeless Designer Shoes has raised $0.60 since our last plea for help. Remember that Shoe Homelessness is a worldwide problem and will not go away if you just ignore it. Give generously.
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| Help!! |
| 01.27.04 (1:44 pm) [edit] |
I need somebody. Not just anybody. I need a guy/gal with a large bank roll to finance my shelter for homeless shoes. Nat's Shelter for Homeless Designer Shoes is struggling financially. Everytime I go to Nordstrom or Niemann Marcus and see their little straps and pointed toes my heart breaks. "Won't you please take me home?" one pair of Nine West boots cried out to me a while ago. I said "Yes" that time but since then I have been unable to take on any more poor soles under my wing/foot due to my tiny closet space and equally tiny bank account.
NSFHDS takes donations. Cash and credit cards accepted. No checks please. Unfortunately NSFHDS has not been designated as a charitable organization (I cannot imagine why) and so your donations will not be tax deductible. However if you develop a shoe fetish and feel the need to come over and play with my shoes I will be more than willing to let you do so in a supervised environment with only one or two SDPS (Shoe Department Protective Services) officers present. Remember, every shoe you save from homelessness increases my chances of looking freaking HOT. Give what you can.
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2 Comments
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| Do you like what you see? |
| 01.27.04 (12:02 am) [edit] |
I've changed my blog style a bit. I dunno why. I guess I like bright in your face colors. More changes are in store as soon as I figure out how to do this n that. I'm really pleased with most of the changes Rocky made to the control settings and such. Rocky YOU ROCK. Hehehe.
Still haven't figured out how to do the background sound thing or how to fix my banner so that it doesn't look pixelated. Again, I'd appreciate a few tips.
Thanks in advance!
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7 Comments
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| Freaky Links |
| 01.26.04 (1:43 pm) [edit] |
I've been looking at my Pro Stats page to see how people are linking to me. I found a few interesting ones aside from the usual suspects (i.e. my friends and newbie).
Several people have linked to me by searching for "Howard Dean Scream Techno" on google. I'm listed on page 30, so some people must be really thorough. Apparently someone linked to me from "freenudecelebrity.net". I find this strange. I mean, often times I am nude but I'm not a celebrity and it's not for free either (usually I have to pay the doctor to see me naked).
Others have linked to my blog by searching on google for "naked pirate wench". Wow. I am speechless. One person searched for "I Married MC Hammer" and linked to my blog. That's really not how I'd like to be found.
And the real kicker, others have linked to me by searching on google for "tom cruise haircut".
I'm sure y'all have weirder links than I. Please share.
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4 Comments
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| Beef: It's what's for dinner |
| 01.25.04 (6:28 pm) [edit] |
Tonight! I'm making peppered steak for Sunday dinner, with whole-wheat penne pasta, asparagus and cherry tomatoes in a thick hollandaise sauce. I must be one of 15 people in the world whose nipples get hard when they see asparagus. The 15 of us are in a support group, we meet on Wednesdays down at the local market. We try to tell each other that we are not bad people, just weird people.
Tonight the Golden Globes are on and that hatchet-faced Joan Rivers and her still suckling-at-the-tit daughter Melissa will be on the red carpet cooing and fawning over people who pretend to be other people for a living. I will be watching every minute of it because I have bought into the hype. Yes, I do care what Nicole Kidman and Charlize Theron will be wearing. I am shallow. Sue me.
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6 Comments
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| Silly Love Songs |
| 01.22.04 (10:46 pm) [edit] |
"You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs. But I look around me and I see it isn't so. Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs. And what's wrong with that?" - Paul McCartney
It's weird but I'm in this awful mushy, ooey-gooey, cheesy, toe-tapping, ear-to-ear smiling, teary-eyed, Hallmark card mood. I just can't seem to shake it. It's killing me socially. I was told today by a friend that they preferred it when I was really bitter. "Oy Satine! F--king snap out of it! Life is not Moulin Rouge!" There's no pleasing some people, I guess. So in order to expell these hyper-romantic toxins from my system I've decided to bleed out a list of my favorite silly love songs. Some are just plain silly, others make me act silly and some don't deserve that description but eh. Some people are allergic to mushy. I feel sorry for those people.
(Not in any order of preference)
1. "When A Man Loves A Woman" - By almost anybody but Michael Bolton
2. "Come Away With Me" - Norah Jones
3. "I Want You" (She's So Heavy) - The Beatles
4. "As Time Goes By" - Jimmy Durante - Ha cha cha cha cha cha!
5. "Brown Skin" - India Arie
6. "A Kiss To Build A Dream On" - Louis Armstrong
7. "Almost Like Being In Love" - Nat King Cole
9. "Uninvited" - Alanis Morrissette
10. "Your Song" - Elton John - I hope you don't mind.
So what are some of your favorites?
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6 Comments
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| Tube |
| 01.22.04 (5:28 pm) [edit] |
More from me on TV/Movies:
The Replacements:
The mid-season hopefuls have been dominated by reality shows. Big surprise there. Here's my 2 million cents.
Celebrity Mole 2 - Ahmad Rashad hosts, players include Dennis Rodman, Stephen Baldwin and Angie Everhart. Wednesdays, 10 pm ET on ABC. I think Dennis is the mole. I could be wrong but I can't force myself to care much less watch.
American Idol 3 - Simon, Paula and Randy return with thousands of new hopefuls most of them vacuous and untalented. Tuesdays at 8pm ET on FOX. I'll tune in occasionally when I'm in need of a migraine and an excuse to call in sick the next day.
Survivor: All-StarsPast winners and cast-aways return including Richard, Hatch, Tina Wesson. Premieres after the Superbowl on CBS. I plan not to miss an episode.
Traffic - Cliff Curtis, Martin Donovan, Balthazar Getty, Elias Koteas, Mary McCormack and Nelson Lee (who the f--k are these people?). Jan 26th & 28th on USA. Mini-series based on the Academy Award winning film, Traffic. It looks at the underworld of illegal drug trafficking through the eyes of the main people involved. Sounds promising.
The Apprentice - Donald Trump (oy vey!).Wednesdays at 9pm ET (repeats Thursdays at 8:30 pm ET) on NBC. Watching Donald Trump make a bunch of self-obsessed yuppies run through hoops is fun fun fun. Must-see? May be.
Available on DVD:
Ravenous ☻☻
This movie gives the phrase "The Other White Meat" new meaning. Guy Pearce and Robert Carlyle star in this dark tale about cannibalism and the power and hunger that comes from the tasting of human flesh. The movie is at times serious and then at others absolutely nutty. I'm not quite sure what the producers or director was going for but the movie misses the mark simply because it tries too hard to be dark and ominous, provocative and funny all at the same time. I think they were going for devilishly delicious but ended up with stale and bland. I don't say this often (in fact I've never said this before) but David Arquette was totally under-utilized in this movie. My greatest wish is that they would have given the Native Americans in the film a chunkier role. They just seemed to be around to get eaten or to explain the superstition. Save your money, unless you want to see Neal McDonough bare-chested.
Anger Management ☻☻
Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler locked in a movie together - hilarity ensues. Alot of the jokes are over-the-top and the plot is so contrived and unreasonable but you'll find lots of things to chuckle about in this gross capitalization of both the Jack Nicholson crazy-like-a-fox persona and the Adam Sandler angry-but-sweet stereotype. Liked it. Didn't love it.
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers ☻☻☻a 87;☻
A MUST-SEE! A TOUR DE FORCE!! AWESOME!! IT WILL BLOW YOU AWAY!! THE DVD OF THE YEAR!! NOTHING COMES CLOSE!! GET OFF YOUR FAT ASS AND RENT IT!! HIDE YOUR DAUGHTERS - VIGGO MORTENSON AND ORLANDO BLOOM ARE ABOUT TO STEAL THEIR HEARTS!! I figured that was enough clichés for one day, but you get my point. It's viggo-licious and mmm mmm good to the last frame. I watched the 40+ minutes of additional scenes including Sean Bean who was cut from the theatrical release and almost wet my knickers in excitement. I loved the actors' commentary the best. In fact I plan to watch the DVD again as soon as I have a weekend available. I cannot say enough about Sir Ian McEllen or Andy Serkis (Gollum). Brilliant!! My only pet-peeve is the addition of Liv Tyler's Arwen, I huge departure from the book but no matter. THIS MOVIE ROCKS!!! BETTER THAN CRACK!!!WORTH THE PRICE OF ADMISSION!! TRADE YOUR SPOUSE/CHIDLREN IN FOR....
Narc ☻☻☻
Jason Patric and Ray Liotta star in this dark and edgy cop drama. I have always loved Ray Liotta and he packed on quite a few pounds to play this sometimes unlikable detective investigating the deaths of one of his fallen comrades. He is paired up with Jason Patric, a failed undercover narcotics agent given a second chance. It's gritty and disturbing and the ending left me a bit uneasy and unsatisfied. Definitely worth a look.
Identity ☻☻☻
This is a well-written psychological drama with a cool concept and an equally cool ensemble cast. Stars John Cusack, Ray Liotta, Amanda Peet, Jake Busey and Clea Duvall. It is definitely worth a look and I highly suggest that you do not watch it with friends that like to chat during movies. I took the time to rewatch the movie with the director's commentary and I loved it.
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| I Feel Fine |
| 01.21.04 (5:29 pm) [edit] |
When I'm blue, I know what to do.
I start singing those Beatles songs.
She Loves you, Love me do.
Hey Jude, It Won't Be Long
Till I Feel Fine.
Money Can't Buy Me Love.
But it can buy me some tunes
To help me rise above
The depressing monsoons
Till I Feel Fine.
If Something's missing In My Life
I sing, All You Need is Love.
There's no need for all this strife.
No more tears, It's Only Love.
Now I Feel Fine.
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2 Comments
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| I'm still bitter |
| 01.21.04 (2:51 pm) [edit] |
You drag me down.
You give me wrinkles and grey hairs.
You make my head throb and my neck ache.
I foam at the lips with this bitter venom,
Makes me want to bite off your head.
You're more than just a disappointment.
You bring out the worst in me.
You've got to go.
I know what a lie sounds like.
I know when you're feeding me bullsh_t.
I know when you're pushing my buttons.
You think you're so clever.
You think I need you to tell me what I need.
What I don't need is to be let down, everytime.
To have hope and have it ripped away, viciously.
What I don't need is you.
I'm tired of seeing the back of your head.
Don't come back if you can't stay.
Don't make promises you won't keep.
Don't pick at old wounds.
You have no right to lecture me.
You've lost all credibility.
A part of me might miss you
But I won't miss the pain you bring with you.
Don't worry about me. I'm just venting. Give me a few weeks to get back to my cheery old self.
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3 Comments
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| If you write it they will come |
| 01.21.04 (1:27 pm) [edit] |
Or not. Still the show/blog must go on despite the low ratings and lack of viewer/reader feedback. If I was on the FOX network they would have scheduled me for Friday night and cancelled my ass after 1 episode. Fortunately on tblog, quality is not a pre-requisite for blog existence. It's the equivalent of public access television. Any idiot craving attention (like yours truly) can have a blog.
How often have you seen a public access show get picked up by a network? Must have happened once or twice, I just can't think of any off the top of my head. Anyway, I've decided to post reviews for DVDs I've watched and TV shows occasionally. I'm sure this will not boost ratings as anybody could write this boring drivel (well, being boring is not a unique skill).
Snootchie Bootchie Cootchie!
TV on DVD
Coupling (BBC Version) - Seasons 1 & 2 available for purchaase or rent
Smallville Beginnings - Catch the first season of this show (now in its 3rd season) about Clark Kent's teen years (WB Sundays at 7pm ET). Now available to rent on DVD.
Monty Python's Flying Circus - complete set of this groundbreaking seeries.
Taken - 20 hour Spielberg mini-series about the government conspiracy to hide alien abductions.
Video/DVD Reviews
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind ☻☻☻
Sam Rockwell, George Clooney, Drew Barrymore and Julia Roberts star in this bio-pic about game show pioneer, Chuck Barris (and I use the term pioneer loosely). The movie is dark and funny and Sam Rockwell portrays a sometimes unlikable character credibly but not convincingly. There's always something under the surface and things are never quite as they seem. It's not clear whether we are witnessing real events or when we have fallen into the depths of Barris' paranoid dementia. Clooney's directorial debut will certainly lean to more work should he choose to pursue them. Definitely worth a look.
Dreamcatcher ☻☻
This film adapted from the Stephen King novel of the same name starts out so beautifully. There's the friendship of four men who grew up together, the psychic bond that links them together and to a fifth childhood friend, there's the threat of an alien virus, there's the covert military operation to contain the virus all set in winter wonderland of snow and pine trees. Never has so much potential been wasted. Halfway through the film becomes rushed and uneven and towards the end it plunges into Lake Ridiculous. It's too bad. The film stars Damian Lewis, Thomas Jane, Morgan Freeman, Tom Sizemore, Jason Lee, Timothy Olyphant and Donnie Wahlberg. The best part of this movie is Jason Lee's vocabulary - hysterical.
The Hours ☻☻☻
Imagine singing "I cried all night" to the tune of Celine Dion's "I drove all night". That's exactly what I did after watching this depressing, suicide-inducing drama. They even managed to make sex-on-legs Ed Harris look disgusting. One must be true to who you are and one "cannot find peace by avoiding life. Nicole Kidman's Oscar-winning turn as the depressed writer Virginia Woolf is bold and powerful, even with the prosthetic nose-piece. Julianne Moore is again cast as the trapped 50's house-wife (see Far From Heaven). She is brilliant in her own right and at times I just wanted to shake and tell her to snap out of it, as ignorant people often do when they do not understand another's condition. Meryl Streep plays the third lead (and do not mean that she is third in importance - all three actresses deserve top billing), an openly gay women living with her partner (Allyson Janney) whose life seems to be unraveling in one day. The message of the film is about understanding yourself and making painful choices to be free. The movie is at times preachy and slow but the emotions are palpable. I never plan to watch this movie again.
Hollywood Homicide☻☻ 787;
Who would have thought of pairing Harrison Ford with Josh Hartnett? A genius that's who. Here's a film you and your mother can go to see and both be satisfied. Bring your boyfriend or your Daddy too as there's enough shooting and stuff blowing up to keep everybody entertained. The film is mostly light-hearted and doesn't take itself too seriously. Everybody has two jobs, even the LAPD. Harrison and Hartnett make full use of the generation gap jokes, down to their cell phone ring tones. Worth a look.
More reviews to follow. I even do requests. Seriously.
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1 Comments
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| Now Showing |
| 01.20.04 (10:50 pm) [edit] |
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Bad Santa ☻☻☻
Cold Mountain ☻☻
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers ☻☻☻☻
Timeline ☻
Master and Commander ☻☻☻
The Last Samurai ☻☻
Elf ☻☻☻
The Cat in the Hat ☻
Big Fish ☻☻☻
Cheaper By The Dozen☻☻
Calendar Girls ☻☻
Lost in Translation☻☻☻½
Something's Gotta Give
Paycheck ☻☻
Mona Lisa Smile☻
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Brilliant!! So
good I'd pay to see it again and again |
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OMG!!! You have to go out and see
this. |
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Worth the price of
admission. |
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You may wanna wait till this hits the
dollar theater |
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Very little entertainment
value |
??? |
I go back and
forth from love to hate.
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| The Eve of St. Agnes |
| 01.20.04 (2:48 pm) [edit] |
I'm not Catholic but I tried this when I was 17 and had such an amazing dream.
"...They told her how, upon St. Agnes’ Eve,
Young virgins might have visions of delight,
And soft adorings from their loves receive
Upon the honey’d middle of the night,
If ceremonies due they did aright;
As, supperless to bed they must retire,
And couch supine their beauties, lily white;
Nor look behind, nor sideways, but require
Of Heaven with upward eyes for all that they desire..."
(The Eve of St. Agnes, John Keats, 1791-1821)
Who knows? May be I was delirious from hunger.
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| Fit Nat Update |
| 01.20.04 (12:02 am) [edit] |
So far so good. I have not gained any weight. I have not lost any either, but it wasn't really about the weight. It's about getting in better shape, not passing out after climbing four flights of stairs, not feeling hungry and deprived around the clock, not sitting on my fat ass all day and not feeling tired all the time. In that respect, things are going well. I still feel very tired but certainly not as much as before. I am sleeping much better. The pilates workouts and the power-walking have helped me destress so that I can sleep restfully, I think. As for my diet, I've fallen in love with mashed cauliflower, as an alternative to potatoes. It smells awful, but it tastes awesome. I promise not to sit too close to you.
On another note, my upstairs neighbor played her Shakira CD 7 times in a row, driving me absolutely insane. I used to love that CD, now I want to forget every freakin' note of every freakin' song. There is no excuse for abusing music like that. There ought to be a law!!
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3 Comments
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| It's |
| 01.19.04 (1:39 pm) [edit] |
Graham Chapman. Handsome. Gay. Dead. Perfectly consistent with the men that I usually find attractive. What is it with me? I was watching the Monty Python's Flying Circus collection on DVD and there he was looking dead-pan serious while wearing black tights and dancing like a fairy. I fell in love almost immediately. How can you not love a man riding around on an imaginary horse, knocking coconut shells together and declaring himself King of England because some tart in a pond handed him a rusty sword (The Holy Grail)? He was just brilliant. I really must find a live and straight person to love. I was half-way there with Steve McQueen. He was a step in the right direction but now I've regressed with this Chapman thing. Woe is me.
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5 Comments
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| I'm Lost |
| 01.18.04 (11:38 pm) [edit] |
What have I done to deserve this?
Did I cry too much or too little?
Did I give too much or too little?
You make it so easy to fall in love with you.
You make it so hard to forget about you.
You're at the end of every thought.
You're the thought behind every sigh.
Nothing seems to make sense now.
Didn't know I what it was like to be lost till I lost you.
Now I'm trying to make my way,
To the otherside, the side without you on it.
It's not where I want to be,
But it's where I have to go to forget you.
I'm lost and I hate the feeling,
I hate the hopelessness, the helplessness.
Wish I knew what I did wrong,
But you won't say.
So long, my heartbreaker.
The world goes on with or without you.
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| Happy Birthday Rant |
| 01.16.04 (3:59 pm) [edit] |
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's my birthday. I'm old like you now."
Gee thanks. Well, I'm not sure how to honor my friend AE on her birthday. I figured I'd describe her finer attributes and stuff but that would be boring. I mean, this woman is ALWAYS right. Well, there was this one time she made a mistake but on that same day there was an earthquake in Iran. Coincidence? I think not.
Spoke to AE today and she went on one of her infamous in-your-face, F__k-me-Freddy rants. She inspired me to list the top 10 things that I think irritate her. So here we go:
1. People who use people.
2. People who lie.
3. The level of importance given to people who pretend to be other people (actors) for a living.
4. The fact that cute little kittens grow upand lie around and poop in your favorite pair of sneakers.
5. Married people who constantly judge single people as failures in some respect.
6. People who take 3 weeks to answer a bleedin' email. Wait, I think I'm projecting.
7. Tom Cruise's fake-ass chuckle. Die Tom! Die!!
8. Men who can't hold up their end of the conversation. She likes them chatty chatty chatty.
9. Bone-thin women who declare that they don't exercise and can eat whatever they want. L-ho! You know who you are, BIOTCH!!!
10. People believing in propoganda, without ever trying to discover the truth on their own.
Well there you have it. Happy Birthday Dear AE!!!
AE's non-self-portrait provided by AESav Designs Inc., a subsidiary of Kiss-My-Bender-You-Comple te-F__keroo Enterprises.
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| Cry Me A River |
| 01.15.04 (2:24 pm) [edit] |
I feel like I have just stepped into The Twilight Zone or Bizarro World. My normally leftist, nature-loving, rock-climbing, anti-pop-culturist, jazz-loving, sandal-wearing, pre-industrial/agricultur al-revolution-diet-eating officemate, Giantsfan, has just walked into the office and shocked me into silence (well, relative silence as I've been told I talk too much). I think going on the job-market might have done something to him, either that or the pod-people from Invasion of the Bodysnatchers have gotten to him. Just in case, I shall not sleep tonight.
What has he done you ask? Well, he walked in an asked me if I own the Justin Timberlake CD, Justified. I said, "What the f--k?" He said he wanted to burn himself a copy. I said, "Why the f--k?". He said he heard it over the winter break and he liked it. I said, "How the f--k?" Then he kept on telling me how good it is.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This cannot be happening. Hey, I'd like to burn that CD, but not on my CD-RW drive. Try the incinerator. After explaining to him that it's just plain evil for him to be saying things like "Justified is kinda like early Jackson 5 material," he's scouring the web to find a way to download the offending music. He also said he liked the Outkast double disc and I can agree with that, but this is so not like Giantsfan. This is the same man who made fun of me for liking Matchbox Twenty. I think I need to lie down for a little. Not to sleep, mind you. Those pod-people will never get me alive!!
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| The Worst of 2003 |
| 01.14.04 (10:28 am) [edit] |
Well I was going to do a "best of" list but then everybody and their wet baboon is doing one so I decided not to be very different and do this instead. How unimaginative of me, really. I've chosen 3 categories - 3 things that I think I know enough about (it's a shame - downright pitiful, really) - Movies, Television and Unrelenting Media Coverage about things we really shouldn't care about but we are being programmed to care about. You'll see what I mean in a minute.
First off, Movies:
1. Cold Mountain - please, please, please don't kill me. Send your hate mail to natblog@hotmail.com. "Cuuum back to me. Cuuuum back to me...That is my requeh-est." AE said that Nicole's and Renee's faltering accents were not the worst things about this epic disaster. There was the gratuitous sex scenes. I get the feeling that we're all sick of seeing Phillip Seymour Hoffman naked (he's a fantastic actor, mind you). I'm still flabbergasted at the 13 Golden Globe nominations. I guess Nicole can do no wrong. I put this on the list for AE and for all those poor souls who suffered through this film.
2. Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat - Mike Myers on any other day is a comic genius. Here, he's just regurgitating ghosts of characters past. Dakota Fanning is too freakin' intelligent for her own good. Hate it when a cute kid goes Hollywood. Just hate it.
3. The Matrix - whether it's Reloaded or Revolutions, it made me sick. Sick, sick, sick, sick, sick with disappointment.
4. Scary Movie 3 - no explanation needed.
5. Duplex - what a complete waste of good talent (Drew Barrymore and Ben Stiller)
Best: Lost in Translation, The Station Agent, Pirates of the Caribbean (for Mal!!), American Splendor, Mystic River (see, I lied to ya Jon!).
Television. Talk about dead air space.
1. Joe Millionaire 2 - did we really need a sequel?
2. America's Next Top Model - here is one reality show that I just can't bring myself to watch and that's saying alot.
3. I Married MC Hammer - yes, this is an actual TV show on VH1.
Best: Resident Life, The Office, CSI
Unrelenting Media Coverage about things we really shouldn't care about but we are being programmed to care about:
1. Ben and Jenny (from the block) - I don't want to hear another word about their wedding plans
2. Howard Dean and the just how tiny Vermont is - can we please find a new insult?
3. Paris Hilton - her skanty/skanky clothes, The Simple Life, the dozens of email offers to buy her sex tape ...lead me to make the understatement of the year: Paris is over-exposed.
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| 64 |
| 01.13.04 (1:32 pm) [edit] |
That's how old my Dad would have been today. He really didn't like us making a fuss over his birthday. Always made him feel old. He said celebrating his birthday was really for us and he was right. It gave us an opportunity to show how much we loved and appreciated him, not that we didn't try to do that everyday. He'd say "You shouldn't have spent that much money" or "You guys really know how to embarrass me" or "Am I really that old?" or "I hope you bought me a box of hair dye". He liked the Just for Men brand. He never looked his age (even without the hair dye) and he was way more open-minded than most men his age. I remember him telling me how he loved theChris Rock: Bigger and Blacker show but he could never watch it when Mom was around as she was easily offended. It was our little secret.
Well, Dad, I know where you are. You're watching the action down here from a nice vantage point. Hope you like what you see. Hope I'm making you proud most of the time. Try not to cringe at my taste in men. The unavailable, whiny and crap-haircut thing is just a phase. Promise. Hope that they play cricket in Heaven and let you be the umpire sometimes like when you were in school. Love you, SuperDad.
Nat (a.k.a. Supergirl) xxxxx
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| Master & Commander: The Far Side of My Butt-Crack |
| 01.12.04 (3:24 pm) [edit] |
My new exercise routine includes some pilates, yoga and power-walking. I hope after I shed some pounds to start running again. Caity-bug told me that her knees felt better after running once she'd lost some weight. I'm hoping that this will be the case for me. I'm also hoping to be flexible enough to see my butt when I bend over. That would be way cool!!
The new permanent diet has been more tricky to figure out. I need to balance not only the four food groups but my check book. Diets are always expensive the first few months. WHINE, GROAN, CRY, SCREAM. And two. WHINE, GROAN, CRY, SCREAM. And three. WHINE, GROAN, CRY, SCREAM. And four. WHINE, GROAN, CRY, SCREAM.....
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| Fit Nat |
| 01.11.04 (6:12 pm) [edit] |
Well, it's a dream and I think I've been dreaming long enough. I need to start realizing it. Yesterday I decided to clean out my closet. I threw out things that I hadn't worn in years and will probably never wear. After that I tossed out things that don't fit. 4 years ago I remember throwing out things that were too big for me (I had lost 30 lbs then), yesterday I found myself throwing out things that were too tight.
I hate the weight roller-coaster I'm on and I hate when my clothes don't fit. It's such a pain in the butt when a rare occasion comes up where I have to wear something nice and the outfit I plan to wear is too tight or too loose. I need to identify my natural healthy weight, get there and maintain it (and of course buy a whole new wardrobe to match, hehehehe).
I think I've tried every diet out there and ever dietary supplement (grand waste of money with serious side-effects) and I believe none of them work because they're not meant to be a living diet, just a shortrun fix. So if my diet is going to change, it's going to be permanent. I don't believe denying oneself everything from a particular food group is healthy. After quitting Atkins (I lost 6 lbs in 6 weeks - UGH!), I went on a carbo-binge that's lasted 6 weeks.
Then there's exercise. UGH. GROAN. WHINE. CRY. UGH. GROAN. WHINE. CRY. UGH. GROAN. WHINE. CRY. I hate exercise, not just because I am lazy but because it's boring. I would rather ride a bicycle while sight-seeing than sit on an exercise bike pedalling to nowhere. I'd probably go much further too. If and when I go jogging, I want to go somewhere and back, not just in a circle on a track. I just need to feel entertained while I'm doing all these things, beyond the cheesy techno aerobics music. PUMP UP THE JAM? YECH!!
I also hate the gym. I don't like being hit on while I'm all sweaty or while I'm on my back with my legs spread on some thigh machine. The last time I went a 60 year old woman bench-pressed 20lbs more than I did. I left in shame and I plan never to return.
So I guess all my hatred limits my options. Doesn't matter, I will find a way, a plan that I'll actually stick with instead of quitting because it's inconvenient, tiresome, and requires a saintly amount of sacrifice. If you have suggestions, I'll be glad to take them under advisement, but if they're of the "get off your fat ass" nature, God help you. My anger will be strong and my retribution swift!! Hehehehe.
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| And the winner is... |
| 01.09.04 (11:18 am) [edit] |
Adinaloki!!!
1. 6
2. 5
3. None
4. John Lennon
Second place: Sillygrrl3
Third place: Trina
Everyone else that entered the contest before the closing will get 30 tbucks.
Congratulations and thanks for participating!!!
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1 Comments
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| Win 1000 tbucks |
| 01.08.04 (1:02 pm) [edit] |
First watch this video. Be patient as it may take a while to load.
Then answer the following questions correctly.
1. Easy - How many times is "I feel fine" shown in the video?
2. Moderate - How many times does the word "baby" appear in the lyrics?
3. Hard - How many horizontal lines appear in the opening sequence of the video?
4. Give-a-way - Who provides lead vocals for this Beatles' hit?
The first to submit all correct answers wins 1000 tbucks (or the first to submit the most correct answers). Second place wins 500 and third place 250. The contest ends exactly 24 hours from the first posting. Correct answers will be posted at the end of the contest.
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6 Comments
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| A Cry for Help!! |
| 01.07.04 (3:29 pm) [edit] |
Please don't turn away. If you're one of those people that switch the channel when the ads for helping starving children come on, not to worry. This is far far less philanthropic and certainly superficial.
A fellow blogger, Jon Wright (film director, social commentator and budding attention-whore) launched a new part of his site SUPERCHUNK a few months back in the hopes that people would visit, drop pearls and poop all over and may be check out the rest of his site in the process. When I first saw it I was pissed that I hadn't thought of doing that myself. As of today, he's not quite happy with the success of SUPERCHUNK. He has admitted to hiring an ad agency (like any self-respecting attention-whore would do but never admit to doing).
Now, here comes the plea. Please visit Jon's SUPERCHUNK site and leave steaming piles of chunky you-know-whats all over it. Tasteful, of course. I get the feeling he will not be satisfied until HRH Queen Elizabeth II visits and tells him her favorite film, her worst teenage experience and the color of her knickers.
Please, I am not asking for much. Give from your heart. Give what you can. Give him hell!!! Hehehehe. But seriously, I like Jon. I even think he's cute, despite the wet baboon image and even though he asked me to talk about him less, I could not resist this opportunity to plug his very worthy if not unorthodox site.
Let me know what you think.
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4 Comments
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| You're Overweight! |
| 01.07.04 (11:35 am) [edit] |
Said the woman at the airline check-in counter. Story of my life. She kindly handed me a box, some tape and said, "Lose 8.9 lbs and we're good."
"Ok." I mumbled under my breath that I wished it were that easy to shed pounds. Can you just imagine that? You step on the bathroom scale and hate what you see, so you grab a box and some tape and voila, you're 10lbs lighter. Anyway, I removed some stuff from my suitcase, taped up the box, scribbled my name and address on it and handed it to her.
When I looked behind me, there was this lady with 2 tiny pieces of luggage in the line tapping her feet and rolling her eyes. I wanted to yell at her, "It's the holiday's, bitch! My Mommy sent me loads of gifts and fruit cake! Have mercy."
After all that, I proceeded to the line to go through the security checkpoint which was two city blocks long. After sweating forever, thinking I might miss my flight while waiting in this slow moving line, I got to the metal detectors. I removed my shoes, jacket, belt and purse, plopped my stuff on the conveyer belt and stepped through.
BEEEEEEP. I said "Must be my underwire." The security staff was unimpressed. I proceeded to the little area where they scan you. I spread my arms and legs, was scanned, then patted down. Then the lady attending me said, "I'm going to touch you gently around the breast area."
"Ok." I said, speechless. She did her thing and nodded that it was indeed my underwire bra that set things off. I proceeded to collect my things, only to be told by another attendant that they wanted to rescan my carry-on. "Ok." I said, getting annoyed. Finally, I got my things, dressed and headed to my terminal.
"Bloody hell!" I said when I realized that my gate was at the far end of the building. I walked briskly, huffing and puffing. When I got to the gate they were boarding.
"We are now boarding Group 1 passengers, first class and people with small children." I looked at my boarding pass.
"Bloody hell." I was in Group 5. After whining for 15 minutes that I couldn't catch a break if someone took a baseball bat to my leg, they called my group and I boarded. When I got to my seat, I tried to put my carry-on in the overhead compartment only to read that my particular bin was reserved for security equipment and no luggage allowed. I looked around and all the bins close to me were stuffed.
I waved frantically at the flight attendant standing a few seats away. She seemed to be busy examining a chipped fingernail. Finally she saw me and just stared at me, then she smiled and waved back, "Happy New Year." Then she turned her back to me and headed to the rear of the plane. I stood there forever, I let people pass me and finally was assisted by another flight attendant who put my stuff near the back of the plane.
I took my seat, buckled up and took out a book to read. The person sitting next to me wasn't having any of it. Everytime I got into a good paragraph, he would interrupt me to ask what I thought about the weather in Houston, the freaking Dallas Cowboys, what I thought about the mars rover landings, Saddam Hussein, Howard Dean, Britney Spears's wedding, Gwynneth's pregnancy and the Dalai Lama. To the last, I responded, "Do I look like Richard Gere?"
"Not really. Are you related?"
After that, I pretended to fall asleep and he finally shut up and took a nap as well. The rest of the flight was uneventful, mercifully, and I was glad when I finally got home and smelled my apartment. Apparently I forgot to take out the garbage. Oh well. I lit a candle, poured myself a glass of rum and went to bed.
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| Leaving on a Jet Plane |
| 01.05.04 (2:25 pm) [edit] |
Don't know when I'll be back again. Today I'm leaving the land of Mickey Mouse, Shamu and Jaws to head back to Texas and I'm a little choked up about it. Being here was truly a vacation. I did not pick up a single journal article or scribble nonsense on paper about my dissertation. I felt free and relaxed and I gained 5lbs without hating myself for it. I had home-cooked meals twice daily loaded with carbs. I will wait till Friday to start hating myself for it.
This morning Mom left for Jamaica. It happened so quickly, probably because we all woke up 20 minutes late and had to rush. I giggled at my Mom as she tried to drink scalding hot tea in 5 minutes. She just smiled at me. As she drove off for the airport I could feel the loss come over me. I miss her fussing over me and telling me to eat something. I wish we were all headed home in the same direction. But alas, the vacation is over. It's back to reality. Bud has to get back to work, and I have to get back to tutoring, writing and justifying my existence.
As much as I hate leaving here, I miss my own bed, my own PC, Della, my own kitchen and frozen dinners, my Salvation Army couch and my half-dead plants (which will now be fully dead when I return). I'll miss being able to walk around naked without fear of shocking my Mom or other relatives. I miss watching the weather report and seeing Central Texas rather than Central Florida (so strange a map).
Well, my bags are packed and I'm ready to go.... see y'all on the other side.
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| To Miami and Back: Happy New Year |
| 01.03.04 (6:06 pm) [edit] |
Hi everybody. I've spent the last three days in the back seat of my brother's rental car driving from Kissimmee to Melbourne, then to Miami then north to Fort Lauderdale then back to Kissimmee. Boy is my bum numb!! I suppose this was nothing compared to the French tourists to whom we gave directions. They drove down to Melbourne from Montreal and were heading back when we came upon them.
The bestest (Sweet Budget, I know that "bestest" is not an actual word - have mercy!) part of the whole trip, aside from seeing my precious relatives, was meeting AE and Mal for the first time. AE drove down from ******** (she likes her anonymity) - over 7 hours on the road. I was so excited but it seemed that as I was getting excited my allergies got worse. At several points I was having trouble breathing. I couldn't get to fully enjoy hanging out with Mal and AE and had to be taken home early. I did manage to see Prancing Patrick's little dance and gorilla walk. Both wonderful young ladies made a lasting impression on my Mom. Still not quite sure if Mom knows that AE was joking about the gun-toting lesbian thing. Hmmmm.
Now, we took quite a few photos but unfortunately I do not have permission from all parties involved to post them. I think a certain someone is afraid that you will see how hot she is and decide to cyber-stalk her. Hey, stranger things have happened. So I apologize for not sharing pics with you.
Hope you all had a better time than I had on New Years Eve. I had a 102(F) degree fever and watched the ball drop at Time's Square on the TV while under 3 blankets. There wasn't a single drop of rum in the whole house. I'm a pirate wench and I need my rum!! Aye, avast!!! Anyways,
ALL THE BEST FOR 2004
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Ayn Rant: AESav.net
Daft and Demented: Mal Uncensored
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