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| Natgasm |
| 02.27.05 (6:36 pm) [edit] |
Apparently I have a type. All this time I thought I just liked all kinds of men - from Antonio Banderas to Jet Li. I recently sent a few freinds an email with 4 examples of men that I find very attractive.
Here is AE's analysis:
"...it's the eyes, but more specifically, that heavy, overhanging brow, and the crease between the eyes that's usually furrowed. They've all got that. I also think they all have very similar-shaped heads (and, fascinatingly, hair lines!!), and are definitely that Black Irish look so popular these days..."
From L to R: Eric Bana, Clive Owen, Hugh Laurie and Colin Farrell
One Aussie, two Brits and an Irishman. Weird, huh?
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9 Comments
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| It's come down to this |
| 02.25.05 (6:19 pm) [edit] |
As some of you already know, in late December, about 4 months after Bud stopped doing laundry I moved in with him. Upon my arrival I was greeted with 14 black jumbo-sized garbage bags which I assumed to be just garbage. I was shocked to learn that this was the laundry he had neglected to wash for 4 months and that he was down to rotating three shirts, one pair of jeans, two pairs of sock and 3 sets of undies. He also couldn't remember the last time he changed the linens on his bed. YIKES! Bud didn't seem to care and I realized it was down to me to do something about the big black stinky pile of dirty clothes and linens.
Fortunately, my Mom was visiting for Christmas, so helped me make trips to the Kwik-E-Wash as we tried to etch away at the large pile up. Unfortunately, each garbage bag holds 2-3 loads of laundry and no matter how hard you try to keep up, the laundry monster grows exponentially. As the household laundry manager, I fight a daily battle to reduce the big black monster pile while trying to keep up with the current week's laundry demands. It never ends. Just when I think I've made a dent, like washing 8 loads in one sitting, I would return home to find 8 black garbage bags staring at me. UGH!
I'd do 12 loads at one time if I had the energy to fold 12 loads. It's just not humanly possible!! Just thinking about that makes my arms ache. Otis Redding sings "These arms of miiiiiiiiine! They are burning. Burning from folding you!"
Today I went to the laundry area and discovered that I had made a difference! It's down to 3 bleedin' bags. I almost fell over in glee! I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think I'm going to cry when the garbage bags are gone, take some vicodin for my back pain and sleep for two weeks. Wait, if I sleep for two weeks there will be according to my calculations 8 loads of laundry. Ok, I will sleep for two days.
Then almost as quickly as the happiness hit me, I remembered that I am going away for two weeks. You'd think I'd be happy to go on a trip to see my friends in Austin and my family in Canada. I am, really. It's just that I know when I get back, those 3 bags will be there plus 4 loads of dirty clothes, a kitchen developing biohazards, a moldy bathroom and chips and sunflower seeds all over the couch. May be I should just stay home. Nah, I have to go.
In order to stem the tide that will await me when I get back I put the 3 remaining bags in Bud's room and left him a note.
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15 Comments
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| Girl with the pearl earring |
| 02.24.05 (6:34 pm) [edit] |
Actually it wasn't a pearl earring. It was one of those plastic thingies you buy at the drugstore that looks like a pearl but is just too perfectly round and white to be the real thing and so everybody within a square-galaxy knows that it's fake but you wear it anyway because it makes you look classy. Phew! Long and convoluted sentences make me thirsty. Be right back from the refridgerator...Back! Right, where was I?
Mel and I did the girls' day out thing today. Mel is Bud's ex-girlfriend who I am fast becoming friends with. After she broke up with Bud last week, I was sick to my stomach worrying that we wouldn't be friends anymore but she called me over the weekend and dissolved all my fears. No, I'm not a lesbian, and if you were hoping that I would end this blog with "It took every ounce of resolve in me to take my tongue out of her mouth," you'll be sadly disappointed. This was just about two girls hanging out. No lesbian spank inferno. No catfights. No deception. No private insults masked under seemingly innocuous comments like "That skirt really makes you look slimmer." We just went shopping, watched a movie - Assault on Precinct 13 - at the cinema, and then she drove me around the Valley, pointing out landmarks and the like.
Shopping was fun, mostly involving several pairs of uncomfortable shoes which we put back. I could tell the store clerks hated us. I like shoe shopping because invariably they will have it in my size (8.5 M) and shoes never make you feel fat. Speaking of feeling fat, I told her about the time I went to Express when I was my fattest and noticed that they didn't have anything on the racks bigger than a size 10. When I asked if they had anything in a 14 I was told by some snotty twig that they kept that stuff either in the back or behind the counter. I have decided never to return to that store, even though I really like their stuff.
The movie was less fun. Assault on Precinct 13 was a by the numbers cop thriller that would have kept you on the edge of your seat if they hadn't employed every single suspense thriller cliche - the emasculated, depressed, tortured, pill-popping cop faces a crisis and all of a sudden grows some balls, seeks redemption, becomes buddies with the arch-criminal, is betrayed by an old friend, meanwhile enjoying a budding romance with his shrink. I'm glad we waited to see this at the dollar theater. The only bad thing about the dollar theater is not only does your feet stick to the floor but your ass sticks to seat because the laws about public sanitation are really just guidelines.
Anyway, the tour around the Valley was the best bit, mostly because she kept telling me what she and Bud did here and there one time or another. It felt like she was exercising some demons as she described the park where they used to hang out at night or their favorite restaurant. I guess she didn't figure it might be a little awkward for me when she talked about my brother, her recent ex. I just said "Really", "Oh yeah" and "You're kidding" a lot. Odd thing is that whenever I was like "Bud's such a jerk/slob/idiot" she would defend him vehemently, like it wasn't his fault that he broke up with her over the phone and is a complete asshat when it comes to the rules of dating. I mean, he took her to "their favorite restaurant" on Valentine's Day, only it turned out to the be fave restaurant of his previous girlfriend. Whoopsie! All this she was willing to overlook and forgive. I just wanted to shake her and say "It's okay to be mad at him or to hate him!"
Hopefully she will get over him because, frankly speaking, in my brother's current state of immaturity, she's way too good for him. May be he'll be ready for a nice girl in another 5 years. Right now, he's all about chasing boobies.
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7 Comments
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| English as a Distant Language |
| 02.19.05 (1:16 pm) [edit] |
For one summer a few years ago, I was an ESL (English as a Second Language) tutor. The work taught me great respect for people from all over the world with foreign tongues who are brave enough to learn English and speak it in front of Native English-speakers in the US, knowing fully that we might be laughing at them in our heads. Liar! Don't tell me you've never made fun of a foreignor's bad pronunciation or accent. Your nose is growing, again.
Except in places like France, I doubt that native English-speakers feel like they will be ridiculed in the same manner for not speaking the local language when they travel. For that reason, I have no intention of visiting France without a translator and at least 6 months of intensive study (tapes, tutoring, mentoring, a stint in Haiti - the works). It's scary trying to speak in a language with which you are not comfortable, even in front of friends. We as human beings want to be understood and to be taken seriously. The last thing we need is to be unintentionally funny when asking "Where is your toilet?"
I also find that Americans are not as patient as they could be with foreignors but the greatest threat to "American" English (as opposed to the Queen's English) does not come from immigrants or visitors. It comes from the lazy, annoying computer-savvy but almost illiterate 12 year-old instant messenger users across the country. Please make note - I am NOT saying every 12 year-old using instant messenger is lazy, annoying, computer-savvy or almost illiterate, but those who are such will bring about the Armageddon of the English Language - End of Days. Across the pond, a generation of similarly-afflicted 12 year-olds threaten to turn the Queen's English on it's backside.
To illustrate my point...
English:
Hi my name is Nat. I live with my brother in Texas. I love to watch TV and movies, listen to a variety of music, especially Alternative Rock and old-school Reggae and R&B. Currently, my favorite band is U2.
I am a decent cook. My favorite dishes to make include jerk pork with rice and peas, vegetable lasagne, curried chicken stir-fry, chicken parmesan with whole-wheat fettucine, chicken-foot in pumkin soup and my Mom's meatloaf.
I'm currently single but not actively looking for romance. I'm busy writing my dissertation in Political Economy and don't need the distraction. When I'm lovesick, whether happy or sad, I don't get much work done. Besides, the last thing I need is to be answerable to another person. I absolutely hate, HATE, being told what to do and I haven't met a man who hasn't tried to fix me in some way. I am not a fix-her-upper, but for Sparky on In A Fix, I could be one.
12 year-old AOLer Translation:
HI MAH NM3 IS NAT!!!!1111 WTF I LIEV WIT MAH BROTH3R IN T3XAS1!11!1! OMG I LOVE 2 WATCH TV AND MOVEIS LISTEN 2 A VAREITY OF MUSIC 3SPECIALY ALTERNATIEV ROK AND OLD-SKOOL R3GA3 AND R&B!1!1!1 WTF CURENTLY MAH FAVORIET BAND IS U21!!1 OMG WTF
IM A DECENT COK1!111!! MAH FAVORIET DISHES 2 MAEK INCLUDE JERK PORK WIT RIEC AND PAAS VAGETABL3 LASAGNE CUREID CHIKAN STIR-FRY CHIKAN PARMESAN WIT WHOLE-WH3AT F3TUCIEN CHIK3N-FOT IN PUMKIN SOUP AND MAH MOMS MAATLOAF!111 LOL
IMM CURANTLY SNGL3 BUT NOT ACTIEVLY LOKNG FOR ROMANC3!!!!!1 WTF IMM BUSY WRITNG MAH DISERTATION IN POLITICAL MAH AND DONT NED DA DISTRACTION11!!1!! OMG WHEN IMM LOVESIK WHATHAR HAPY OR SAD I DONT GET MUCH WORK DONE1!11! WTF LOL BSIEDS TEH LAST THNG I NED IS 2 B ANSWERABL3 2 ANOTHER PARSON!1!!1111 OMG WTF I ABSOLUTELY HAET HAET BNG 2LD WUT 2 DO AND I HAEVNT MET A MAN WHO HASNT TREID 2 FIX MA IN SOME WAY!!1!!!1 IM NOT A FIX-HER-UP3R BUT FOR SPARKY ON IN A FIX I CUD B ON3111111!! OMG WTF
I know what you're thinking. Who pissed in Nat's bowl of Cheerios this morning? No one of which I am aware. However, I am a member of several message boards and groups and the invasion of the LACSBAI-12-YO-IMU (lazy, annoying computer-savvy but almost illiterate 12 year-old instant messenger users) is threatening to do my head in.
A Johnny Depp fan once wrote:
I LOVE JONY D3P!11!!!1! HAS SO HOT1!1!11 OMG WTF I WANT 2 MARY HIM AND B TEH MOTHER OF HIS CHILDREN11!1! WTF LOL HE WAS SO CUTE IN TAHT MOVEI11!11!! I THINK IMM IN LOV3!1!!1 LOL I CUD DEI RIGHT NOW!!!11 OMG LOL IF I AVAR MET HIM ID JUST DEI RIGHT THEYRE1!1! LOL HA SHUD DUMP VAENSA AND MARY ME B/C I LOV3 HIM MORE
She loves him so much, she can't spell his name correctly.
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19 Comments
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| Could You Be Loved And Be Loved? |
| 02.18.05 (4:52 pm) [edit] |
I recently asked a relationship question over on Bobby Joe's blog - Is it possible to fall in love with someone by just reading their blog?
I think it's highly unlikely, but as with everything in life, there are those who have beaten the odds, like JT. So what's your take?
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world...
...just the world that you perceive, I guess. So I suppose if you can get past the great unknown that is cyberspace, anything can happen. Still, I'm very wary of the prospect.
I was crying when I met you, now I'm trying to forget you...love is sweet misery...
...in person and I'm sure over the internet it can be just as painful. When does it stop being simulated love and heart ache and become the real thing?
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5 Comments
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| Two Dollars for Veronica Mars Second Season |
| 02.18.05 (12:44 pm) [edit] |
The folks at Television Without Pity have started this campaign - Two Dollars for Veronica Mars Second Season. They are printing out these fake $2 bills, writing "Veronica Mars is smarter than me" (quote from Episode 13 Clash of the Tritons) and mailing them to the UPN Executives. Please participate if you like the show. If you haven't seen the show, you're missing out. Seriously!!
Check out the fake $2 bills:
Fake Bill #1
Fake bill #2
Personally, I prefer the latter one. Oh and I'd put the bill inside a folded piece of paper (unless you have a thick envelope) so somebody won't think its dough and open it.
I think we should target the first two individuals for maximum effect.
Mr. Leslie Moonves
President and CEO
CBS Television
CBS Television City
7800 W Beverly Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90036
Dawn Tarnofsky-Ostroff, President
United Paramount Network
11800 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90025
Eric Kim
Director of Programming
United Paramount Network
11800 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90025
I've asked some of my friends to send it too. It's better to do it now before a decision has been made. Once a show has been cancelled it's almost impossible to get that decision overturned.
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0 Comments
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| I Think You're Already Gone |
| 02.18.05 (1:37 am) [edit] |
I've made a couple friends since moving to the valley and that's about it. They're my brother's friends and I've become a big fan of theirs. They're both sweet and kind. One of them even bought me candy for Valentine's Day because she knew that I'd be home alone watching 24 and Medium while my ovules cried themselves to sleep. So you can imagine how upset I was when the actions of my brother threatened my budding friendship with both girls. I mean, I feel so isolated as it is.
Here's the deal. The friend that bought me candy for VD happened to be Bud's girlfriend at the time. I really like her. She's spunky, funny, a bit chatty when you're watching a movie or a tv show, but really sweet and kind. So naturally, I like hanging out with her and I think she's great with my brother. So while they were a couple, all was well in my world, you know. I was just beginning to shed the boyfriend's sister tag and possibly become friends with her when my brother decided to nix all that.
Friend #2 is one of the girls I went out with last friday. She reminds me of a rich man's Eva Mendes because, seriously, nobody is poor enough to be a poor man's Eva Mendes. Anyway, she's cute, funny, friendly and a great dancer. So naturally I was excited about her as a friend too. So when Bud drops a bomb on me on Monday (VD) that he has strong feelings for friend #2, I was a bit worried. He could totally screw things up with both women and that would leave me friendless in the valley.
On VD he had a date with his then girlfriend, friend #1. He took her to dinner and then to see the movie Hitch, starring Will Smith and the afore mentioned Eva Mendes. He told me when he got home that the date was a disaster because the whole time he was with his girlfriend he was thinking about friend #2 and watching Eva Mendes on the giant screen only made matters worse. This is after his girlfriend had spent a fortune on his VD gift and scribbled in the card the words "you complete me." So I said to him "I love you, but you're an asshole."
Lastnight he broke up with his girlfriend over the phone. I was furious! Not that he broke up with her, but the way he did it. They had been dating on and off for over a year, and they were friends. She deserved more than that. He should have done it in person. I went to bed so pissed off at my brother but I couldn't tell him. He was feeling pretty crappy too. I remember watching him hang up the phone and limp to his room like Gallagher had taken a mallet to his nuts.
I was expecting a package today, so when the door bell rang, I opened it in excitment. It was friend #1. She stopped by to return my brother's things, including the Tigerland DVD I had loaned her. She had a pained expression on her face. She also returned my brother's now outdated copy of the yellow pages. That's right, she came by to return the yellow pages and my DVD. Awkward!! I could only manage a "I'd really like it if you and I go out sometime." She responded with "You have my number so you can call me when you want." We nodded at each other then I hugged her because I just wanted her to know I was on her side. I'm not an asshole like my brother.
Suddenly she bolted. Then I realized it was because Bud was standing behind me and she didn't want to see him. I'm hoping that she'll still want to be my friend, but I think I've already lost. Everybody hurts when a relationship goes south, even the friends.
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7 Comments
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| Happy Singles Awareness Day!!! |
| 02.14.05 (2:31 pm) [edit] |
This blog is dedicated to my dear friend Missi Jackson!
Never are singles more aware of their status in life than on this day, the day that other people affectionately call Valentine's Day.
So Missi Jackson sent me this lovely Singles Awareness Day (appropriate acronym S.A.D.) care package with heart-shaped peeps, sour candy, a candle, chocolates and tons of Gossip magazines with cellulite-laced celebrity bums on the cover. It doesn't get much better than this!! Well, may be an actual boyfriend would be better but if I did have one, I wouldn't be able to gripe, bitch and moan and receive such wonderful things in the mail.
Thanks Missi Jackson!! You made my day. Rock. On.
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9 Comments
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| Happy VD!!! |
| 02.14.05 (12:00 pm) [edit] |
In my friend's dictionary, and you know who you are, Happy VD is what you tell some skank who tried to steal your boyfriend. Another friend is reminded of VE Day - Victoria in Europa (Victory in Europe), but then again, her head is stuck in the 1940's (4+ decades before her birth).
Well, let me make myself clear. When I say Happy VD to you on February 14th and you are not a skank trying to steal my (nonexistent) boyfriend, chances are I am wishing you a Happy Valentine's Day. So in that vein, I would like to wish you and your significant others a fantabulous, posolutely grandtastically, Happy VD!!! Where ever you are, I hope you are Victoria in Amore!
Vacancy
At present, I am still looking for someone to fill in the void (see illustration below).
Applications will be accepted until menopause.
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7 Comments
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| Breakfast of Losers |
| 02.12.05 (3:50 pm) [edit] |
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Bud does all of the cooking on Saturdays just so I don't turn from a domestic diva into a domestic psycho wielding a meat cleaver. The menu so far has been anything but stellar. For breakfast, Bud brought me half a bag of microwave popcorn, heavy on the butter and the salt, and a glass of Tang-like yellowish-orange juice substitute heavy on the vitamin C and the migraine-inducing food coloring. Yum!! For lunch I was treated to a bowl of soggy and over-cooked rice covered with bacon-veggie stir fry covered in barbecue sauce. It tasted worse than it sounds. Really. He stood over me as I ate it to see if I liked it. The people pleaser that I am, I pretended that it was the best thing he had ever made. The best thing he has ever made to date is boiled water. Bud makes a mean cup of boiled water. He has no rivals in that department. I hold out all hope for dinner since I cooked most of it yesterday and all he has to do is pop it in the microwave for 3 minutes.
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10 Comments
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| Sausage Fest |
| 02.12.05 (1:33 pm) [edit] |
When did I become the D.U.F.F? I must have eaten one two many buckets of icecream and fallen asleep only to wake up and find that I am the Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Well, the position has it's upside. At least I will never be considered a threat to any of my lady friends and can therefore avoid the catty-ness and back-stabbing that would ensue if I looked like Halle Berry. Anyway, I'm quite happy with my curvacious body. I just need to eat healthier, work out now and then and wear structured clothing according to Stacy and Clinton and I don't really think I'm ugly in the least. Still, last night I was feeling the Duffyness.
Lastnight I went out for the first time in months with a few lady friends of my brother. Apparently he needed me out of the house so he could spend some quality time with his girlfriend. CHI CHI CHI CHI BANG BANG!. When did my brother become a Mandelon (translation - whipped)? He could have just said something and I would have made plans for myself instead of forcing me on his friends. Anyway, I was in luck. These girls were really sweet, caring and friendly, so I had a good time with them. We went to a party thrown by this Turkish guy and his roommates. When we first arrived a little after 10pm there was no one there, so we left and headed to a little Mexican bar for drinks. Later when we returned to the party, the apartment was crammed - crammed with men. Ladies, we have arrived at a "sausage-fest". You would think that I would be all excited about the ratio of men to women being roughly 9 to 1, with me being the D.U.F.F. for the night, but I wasn't. Now I know what the early christians felt like when the Romans threw them into the pit with the lions and tigers. I was dinner, but I don't like being dinner. I like eating dinner. A bit too much apparently. Have you seen the size of my ass? Let's just say that the numbers made me slightly nervous.
The nervousness didn't last long as I proceeded to get wasted on what has got to be the saddest selection of beer I have ever witnessed at a party. Michelob, Miller Lite and Busch - I guess since I wasn't paying for it I shouldn't complain. Next time I will bring along my own six-pack of Dos Equis or Shiner. Then again, in this crowd, that would likely get me in trouble. For a while, no one really talked to me directly. I was always beside one of the girls when she was approached by some guy who should know better. I mean, dude! She's so out of your league. Hehehe. Well, not really, but sometimes you think stuff like that to pump up your self-esteem and to explain why no one is taking you on. You know, like they're obviously not talking to me because my looks are so awesome they're intimidated. Stephen Tyler sings "Dream on!"
Yeah, dream on.
Anyway, one guy did talk to me in the end. At first, given my feelings of duffyness, I thought he was only talking to me because he was a friend of one of the girls and he was being kind and polite. When she disappeared and he kept talking in an animated fashion, I began to realize that may be, just may be, this guy might actually find me interesting. Ugh! I hate when my self-confidence is this low. It's just painful. He was really nice and we danced and all that. However at the end of the evening he seemed more interested in one of the other girls. It didn't bother me too much because I realized that she was equally into him too. She confided this much to me on the ride home. I mean, I was only interested in finally having someone talk to me and pay attention to me. I wasn't looking for anything more, which is sad, right?
So the evening went well, with promises to hook up and hang out again. Hopefully the next time we go out I will be feeling like the Caribbean Queen of Hotness that I am and less like a sea cow (a.k.a manitee) that's washed up on the beach.
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17 Comments
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| Guess Who? |
| 02.10.05 (2:31 pm) [edit] |
Howdy folks! Another absolutely useless 1000 tbucks is up for grabs this week.
So, who's crotch is this?
Here's a hint: When he gets pissed, the claws come out.
There's 250 tbucks in it if you can identify the role/film depicted in this photo.
Just in case you are getting tired of this, this is my response, quoting Hot Shots:
"I will kill you until you die from it."
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12 Comments
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| With or Without You |
| 02.09.05 (1:29 pm) [edit] |
Got this note on my pillow this morning...
You know what? I think I'm doing perfectly fine on my own in this beautifully cruel world. I've got one hand in my pocket and the other is flipping you off with my middle finger. Oh, you don't know what I'm talking about? Heh. I'm surprised. You're so vain, you probably think everything is about you. You only want me when I'm half way out the door because when I'm totally there for you, you ignore me and put others before me. So go take your piss-filled venom somewhere else. Go poison another innocent soul - bleed his heart dry and kill all his dreams until life is just a series of short breaths interrupted by the occasional sigh of desperation. Oh, jeebus! Still have no idea what I am talking about? Let's take a walk down memory lane...
I remember the first time we met. I was a fresh-faced teddy bear and you were an immature 11 year old, begging Mommy and Daddy to buy me. You wanted me so badly then, and as soon as you got me the way you treated me gave me hope that this would be the beginning of a long and fruitful friendship. The years went by quickly. You turned to me when you got your first period, when the boys were cruel to you and called you pinapple-face, when the bullies humped your back at school, when you got your first kiss, when your favorite Chemistry teacher got transferred, when Michael R. read your love note to him to his entire class, when you found out you were going to be a C-cup, when you graduated from University and when your Dad died. I was there for you, sitting on your bed through the good, the bad and the fugly.
Now I'm getting older. My fuzzy fur is a bit clumpy and not so fluffy. My paws are a bit dirty and worn out from years of you squeezing them. I'm just a shadow of the teddy bear I used to be and where are you? You've left me behind. I'm no longer on your bed these days. I'm religated to some corner of your bedroom to gather dust and cob-webs. I'm stuffed behind three other bears you have bought - newer, fluffier bears that don't know you the way I do. I hate you for your neglect and hereby resign my post as your most precious comfort provider. If there is any love left in your heart for me, I beg you to show me now. Otherwise, please donate me to the Salvation Army while I still have some appeal left in me, while some child out there can still love me and need me. I was made to be loved and my dream is to be loved until the stuffing pops out of me. I know now that I won't get that from you. Here with or without you is a slow painful death.
Teddy
Who knew Teddy had fingers?
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12 Comments
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| Daft and Demented |
| 02.08.05 (4:42 pm) [edit] |
Despite what you may think of me, I am not refering to my own mental deficiencies in the subject heading. I am refering to the freshly minted blog my friend, Mal, has coined "Daft and Demented." "Freshly minted" and "coined" - get it? I crack myself up! You, not so much.
Please take the time to visit Mal's blog and be kind. She's new to this whole blogging thing and a little nervous.
Click Here
You'll be glad you did
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1 Comments
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| Is it Cheating? |
| 02.08.05 (3:08 pm) [edit] |
I don't think masturbation is cheating, nor do I think that watching porn or reading Playboy is cheating. What I really want to know is this: Is chatting, flirting and describing sexual positions with a person online in a chatroom for four hours considered cheating?
Bud says "No!"
- There's no physical contact.
- Both parties are complete strangers. I'm not sharing any personal information with this other person.
- It means nothing to either one of us.
- Cybersex is not real sex.
- It's just fantasy. It's like saying that pretending my girlfriend is Selma Hayek while we have sex is wrong.
- In the chatroom it's a different person everytime. Where in real life are you going to find that variety?
- The only time I feel guilty is when you nag me about it!
- Would you rather I go out to a club and hook up with some strange women??
I say "Yes!"
- There may be no physical contact but your reactions are physically manifesting!!
- If you can't tell your girlfriend about it for fear that she will be upset, you know you're doing something wrong.
- If it means nothing to either one of you, why are you doing it?
- You're getting pleasure from it in a way that rivals the pleasure you get from girlfriend.
- Selma Hayek?? That is just wrong!! Well, ok...I guess that's understandable. I mean she is built like Jessica Rabbit...still, I feel sorry for your girlfriend.
- Bud, you're in a committed relationship. Face it, variety is a privilege you abdicated.
- If it wasn't registering as wrong on some level for you, I couldn't begin to make you feel guilty.
- As for hooking up with strange women at a club - is that a threat? Is this what this argument has come to? Like I should be glad that you remember to leave the toilet seat down 20% of the time instead of not at all.
So folks, who wins the debate???
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9 Comments
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| Tblog Valentines |
| 02.04.05 (1:03 pm) [edit] |
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Awesome idea from angiekruger! I fully intend to participate but I have a feeling that my initially-intended valentine has probably received many invitations. Craig is just too popular for his own good and such a terrible flirt!! I'm an underdog, so I want to pick someone who hasn't received any invites like me. Hmmmm....I'm off to cyber-pull.....
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6 Comments
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| Honorable Mention |
| 02.04.05 (12:39 pm) [edit] |
This week my already inflated ego got pumped up some more by some unexpected attention. Natblog got reviewed!! The blogger, BobbyJoe, reviews a blog every Thursday and picked mine for this week's lovefest. Lovefest, indeed! It was awesome. I think my face turned strawberry-red and burgundy in less than 6 seconds. I mean, who doesn't love that kind of flattering attention? If you're saying you don't, check your nose. I think it just grew 3 inches. BobbyJoe, unfortunatley, I still have not found that special someone to share my carnival-themed wedding but thank you so much for the shout-out.
BobbyJoe's blog is awesome in it's own right - well-written and sincere. I won't even attempt to match the level of detail with which he describes other blogs. It would require lots of reading and an attention to detail that I do not possess. Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know what you're thinking. I am lazy and full of excuses. Hmmm...might explain why I haven't finished my dissertation yet. I should return the favor and I will, once I've read enough but for now BobbyJoe will be my window into the world of other people's blogs. Only the best blogs get reviewed (*snicker* - I know that sounded so vain and self-serving, eh?), so I know that the blogs recommended will be worth my time. Go "bot" BobbyJoe's blog.
Oh and Bobby Joe...Rock. On.
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7 Comments
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| Guess who? |
| 02.03.05 (2:00 pm) [edit] |
Here is the third in the series.
Who's crotch is this?
Here's a hint: You won't like him when he's angry.
This one is pretty easy so 500 tbucks are up for grabs.
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15 Comments
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| Down at the Kwik-E-Wash! |
| 02.03.05 (1:51 pm) [edit] |
For me, doing laundry has always been a therapeutic chore. Dirty things get cleaned and rejuvenated. Well, most of the time. Sometimes dirty things stay dirty permanently and end up in the trash with the lint and the dryer sheets. Yesterday's trip to the laundromat seemed like every other - two loads of linens, one load of whites and one load of warm-washed-colored, a head-butt to the dollar/coin machine, a Dean Koontz novel to read during the dryer cycle and a can of Diet Coke to make it all tolerable. Don't worry, Mountain Dew is still the official softdrink of Natblog. It's just that I gained 5 lbs over the holidays, another 3 lbs after I got depressed about gaining the 5lbs over the holidays and I lost -2 lbs on my new diet which I quit on Monday. So that's 10 lbs folks! 10 lbs since December. Anyway, I digress...back to the laundromat. I usually consider laundry day a success if
1. I only have to wash my brother's shirts twice with Oxyclean to get out neck and armpit stains
2. I don't drop a wet sock/towel/shirt on the gritty laundromat floor on the way to the dryer (ewwwww!) and have to rewash it.
3. I don't find some weird guy staring at me while I'm folding towels and sheets.
4. Said weird guy doesn't stop me as I am leaving the laundromat to go home to ask me if I can spare any fabric softener. Dude!! I'm half way out the door. Ask the lady with a mustache washing a quilt!
5. I don't lose more than $2.00 in machines that don't work.
6. Someone doesn't arrive just ahead of me with enough laundry to clothe the 101st Airborn Division, uses up all the working washers and dryers and then when I show up apologizes profusely and tries to give me directions to another laundromat 2 miles away.
Well, yesterday wasn't a success in any sense. I dropped shirts and socks on the floor when a kid rammed a cart into my shin while I was on my way to the dryer. His mother didn't even apologize to me. She just said, "He gets so bored here." Huh? Has the fine art of saying I'm sorry been lost? I had to discard 3 of Bud's shirts due to what I fondly refer to as "armpit rot." It's that thing that happens when a man who never has to do his own laundry decides to wear the same undershirt 4 days in succession until the armpit smells like a used diaper. Also, I lost $3.75 in broken machines and rewashing and this weird guy kept chatting me up while I was folding Bud's boxer-briefs. His opening line was "I bet your boyfriend likes it when you wear his boxers?"
"These are my brother's, and given his hygiene habits and the incest implied by your question, that would be disgusting."
Well, that's what I wanted to say. Instead, I just told him that I wasn't into wearing men's underwear. Like an idiot I went on to say that it wasn't flattering for my figure which made him feel comfortable discussing my figure which he did in pathetic detail. Anyway, I managed to get out of there without giving him my phone number and agreeing to meet for coffee because that would have been soooo horrible. Rooooight! I can't even get a date with the laundromat freak. I am losing my touch.
So the sun went down on laundry day. Everything is shiny, everything is bright...well mostly.
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3 Comments
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