Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2007 April
2007 January
2006 December
2006 November
2006 October
2006 September
2006 August
2006 July
2006 June
2006 May
2006 April
2006 March
2006 February
2006 January
2005 December
2005 November
2005 October
2005 September
2005 August
2005 July
2005 June
2005 May
2005 April
2005 March
2005 February
2005 January
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
2004 February
2004 January
2003 December
2003 November
My Links
Bobby Joe
Daft and Demented
AESav - AE's new home
Joolieblog II
Krazedone's Blog
Irishred (aka ApplesnOranges)
Andaloo
Sillygrrl
Crap Pix - Really
Briggsy
Anagamesx's Blog
Susan of Pudlin and the "Puds"
Fotocali on tblog
Fark all day - you know you want to
Lynne (aka ThingsIKnow)
Big Doral
Mark's Life
Flaring and her Fish that were once Fry
Ladyblog
Tenkin - not to be forgotten
Hhunter's Blog
The Original Natblog
Nattoons's Blog
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| Veronica Mars may get bumped by 7th Heaven |
| 04.26.06 (1:42 pm) [edit] |
Rumor has it that the cast members of the supposedly cancelled "7th Heaven" are in negotiations to lower their fees per episode in order to eek out another (mediocre and boring) season. Since that show has had
stellar ratings (for the WB) since the cancellation announcement, The CW execs may opt for it reducing the number of drama slots available to new shows and ratings-challenged series like "Veronica Mars".
The CW announces its Fall Schedule on May 18th.
Why can't the Camdens just go away?!! I wish the series "finale" had them all drinking the Kool-aid Jamestown- style. Yeah, let's the see Brenda Hampton write her way out of that mess.
|
|
4 Comments
|
| |
| 10 Reasons why Helen Mirren Rocks! |
| 04.22.06 (3:10 pm) [edit] |
1. She's fearless. She has bigger balls than most men. You know who you are!
2. She's never has and never will have cosmetic surgery.
3. At 61 years young, she's kicking the arses of all the young Brit starlets (see Kiera Knightley for reference) on stage and screen.
4. Her face has the kind of character (from what would now be considered imperfections) and expression that is rare to find in this world of vapid countenances courtesy of face-lifts and botox.
5. She is the only woman to have ever played both Queen Elizabeth I and Queen Elizabeth II.
6. She's a Dame of the British Empire. Ahem.
7. She made Prime Suspect prime viewing for any anglophile.
9. As Jeff Murdoch would say, "She's just so naked." She never shies away from full-frontal scenes. More recently, she got down to her birthday suit for Calendar Girls.
10. She's my role model.
Dame Helen
Tonight, HBO will air the first of a two-part miniseries simply titled Elizabeth I starring the lovely Dame Helen Mirren. Jeremy Irons and Hugh Dancy also star.
|
|
3 Comments
|
| |
| Right has been restored! |
| 04.20.06 (3:25 pm) [edit] |
Imagine, after not sucking big donkey balls for the first time since making the top 12, Ace Young was eliminated from American Idol. The ears of America finally won over the silly fangirls of America (of which there are JUST TOO MANY). It was inevitable. Ace is goodlooking but not goodlooking enough to justify being tone-deaf, vacuous, bland and untalented. A modelling contract for Calvin Klein is sure to follow shortly.
America got it right - two weeks too late.
One more cheesy photo before Ace disappears from memory ...
|
|
4 Comments
|
| |
| Movie Review: Inside Man |
| 04.17.06 (2:05 pm) [edit] |
Now Playing in North American cinemas
Rating: 2.7/5
Starring: Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, Jodie Foster, Chiwetel Ejiofor
This isn't your typical Spike Lee joint. So, now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's judge the film on its various components:
Casting:
If I had the male apparatus, I would have had a hard-on during the scenes between Jodie Foster and Denzel Washington. Too bad they were few and far between, because those two amazing award-winning actors have mad chemistry. Clive Owen plays smug, cocky, cool and collected to perfection. Then, again, it's really not new territory for the man who SHOULD BE JAMES BOND. Chiwetel Ejiofor is awesome as Washington's sidekick, with the hip delivery of equally hip lines. In fact, the movie is a little in love with its own hipness, but we'll get to that in the next component.
Writing:
The dialogue is a little over the top, a little cheesy, a little "I'm really trying hard to be 'urban' but ending up 'suburban tryin' to be urban'". It's like Seth Green wrote the dialogue after spending the day doing research with 50 cent. The film chokes you with its slickness and flashiness. You get the feeling they're all just trying too hard. Denzel Washington delivers a line about himself and Clive Owen that is sure to send the HoYay! loving fangirls into ultra-squee mode. I get HoYay!, but I don't get the attraction to HoYay! Some lines are genuinely hilarious and it helps that the acting is top-notch. So inferior writing is made to look half-way decent.
Plot:
What plot? Well, there was a point "A" and a point "B", but there wasn't a whole lot going on in between. Then again, point "B" totally sucked ass. The journey, as they say, was void of twists and turns. Does this film go anywhere? Does this film go anywhere unexpected and new? No and no. I never thought I'd reference a film with Bruce Willis, but see Die Hard with A Vengence for how exciting bank robberies on film can be done. The build up is tremendous, the suspense heightened, and the resolution wholly unsatisfying and generic.
Writer's discussion room:
Writer #1: So we're doing a bank robbery movie.
Writer #2: Yeah. You haven't written the end. What gives?
Writer #1: No worries. We'll tack something on before they finish shooting. It can wait. Let's work some more on the homo-erotic subtext in the dialogue.
Writer #2: I'm down with that.
Direction:
Fast-paced, hip, slick, flashy, jumpy camera angles, gritty filters with absolutely no emphasis on character development. Who the fark are these people supposed to be and why should we care? It's as if the director (Lee) knows that the plot is shiatty and is trying as hard as he can to mask it with as much fluff and flair as possible. I totally understand.
Verdict:
It's not a complete waste of 2 hours, but I did put off washing my hair, waxing my legs and doing my nails for it and I'm not sure I made the right choice. You've been warned.
|
|
3 Comments
|
| |
| Can't sing for shit ... |
| 04.13.06 (5:30 pm) [edit] |
... but goodlooking and brawny. That is Ace Young, pure and simple. He is the man who should have been kicked off American Idol last week (when Mandisa left) and this week (when the unintelligible Bucky left). Next week, I guarantee he will sing horribly, be in the bottom three, and return to the couch as a more talented singer departs. DAMN YOU ACE and your toned abs and biceps! DAMN YOU!!!
Oh and why am I still watching this piece of crap reality show? Um, yeah. Nevermind. Don't judge me, I watch PBS and British comedies too. I get brownie points for that, right?
|
|
0 Comments
|
| |
| If my life were a TV Show ... |
| 04.12.06 (4:30 pm) [edit] |
... you wouldn't be reading this. You would be listening to me say all this in a silly monotone voiceover.
If my life were a TV Show, the lighting at work would be altered so as to minimize my imperfections, unlike florescent lighting that just highlights ever farking zit.
If my life were a TV Show, I would use my Tivo to skip through PMS.
If my life were a TV Show, my new boyfriend would secretly be in love with the sister I never knew I had and also the father of my older brother's puppies.
If my life were a TV Show, I would fire the actor who plays my not-boyfriend, fire the writer who created the character, and finally, fire the producer who hired the writer who created the character, because that character is an asshole. Then I would recast the character with Sean Bean and have Kevin Smith rewrite his entire backstory to make him, I don't know, less of an asshole. No, I'm not bitter. Not at all.
If my life were a TV Show, I'd probably suffer from an eating disorder with the constant hatemail about the size of my ass.
The series finale would have me on my deathbed getting a foot massage by Gerard Butler and my back rubbed by Clive Owen. Then, and only then, could I really let go and cross-over into the spin-off show - Nat: The Afterlife. No rest for the wicked.
|
|
0 Comments
|
| |
| Recommend it and I'll Review it |
| 04.09.06 (2:22 pm) [edit] |
|
Got a film you're thinking about seeing or would like me to review? Leave a comment and I'll check it out, subject to availability (I live in a small town).
|
|
4 Comments
|
| |
| Movie Review: V for Vendetta |
| 04.09.06 (1:49 pm) [edit] |
Now playing in North America
Rating: 3.5/5
Starring: Hugo Weaving, Natalie Portman, Stephen Rea, Stephen Fry and Rupert Graves.
Verily, I must voice my vivacity for this very violent and verbose yet vibrant and veracious film. It is very worthy of my veneration. What follows is my veritable version of events most voltaic and valorous!
V for Vendetta is an unusual but enjoyable film. Based on the graphic novel by Alan More and David Lloyd, the film is set against the futuristic landscape of totalitarian Britain. It is the story of a mild-mannered young woman named Evey (Portman) who is rescued from a life-and-death situation by a masked vigilante known only as "V."
V, voiced by the delectable Hugo Weaving, is incomparably dynamic and voraciously skilled in the art of combat and illusion. V urges his fellow citizens to rise up against tyranny and oppression. The citizen's of V's world have been sold lies and have surrendered their human rights for the visage of peace and stability. Throughout, we follow detectives Dominic (Graves) and Finch (Rea) as they invariable uncover a world of corruption and deceit.
The film begins and ends with a bang, with hearts swelling, and is sure to appeal to liberals and receive jeers from conservatives. The film's message is relevant, yet it is beaten into our heads with an enormous mallet, over and over again. The film's one failing is its penchant for preachiness and grandiloquence which at times slows the pace almost to a grounding halt. Still, the film's mantra holds true:
"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."
Oh, and it must be said - "England prevails!" Not the least bit spoilery, I swear.
|
|
0 Comments
|
| |
| The Road to Hell is paved with... |
| 04.08.06 (3:23 pm) [edit] |
... lazy individuals who procrastinate until things get desperate and someone else has to bail them out.
... individuals who never say what they mean but are content to send mixed signals if it is in their best interest to confuse.
... individuals who take two months to answer an email with less than a sentence.
... the passive who turn a blind eye to evil and others' suffering.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. May your intentions translate into action.
|
|
3 Comments
|
| |
| Movie Review: Pride and Prejudice |
| 04.06.06 (4:20 pm) [edit] |
Now available to own or rent on DVD
Rating: 4.5/5
Starring: Keira Knightley, Matthew MacFadyen, Rosamund Pike, Donald Sutherland, Brenda Blethyn
I am in love with Jane Austen's men - Mr. Darcy, Mr. Knightley, Colonel Brandon, and even the rogues like Henry Crawford and Frank Churchill. I think the only man that failed to excite me was Edmund Bertram of Mansfield Park. When I sleep at night, I want to be a Jane Austen leading lady - from the innocent and shy Fanny Price to the bold and witty Elizabeth Bennet to the spoiled and sassy Emma Woodhouse. I think that I am more Marianne than Elinor Dashwood. So, please take my review with a grain of salt. Not only do I feel like I know these characters but that I own them.
No man, except for may be Colin Firth, has ever come close to my vision of Mr. Darcy and I doubt any man ever will. That is not to say that the enigmatic Matthew MacFadyen doesn't put in an inspired performance. In most circumstances, I find Mr. MacFadyen a cold fish, distant and unapproachable. In any other role, I find him unsympathetic and boring. As Mr. Darcy, it all comes together. It all makes sense. MacFadyen was born to play a role like Mr. Darcy. It's as if those icy-blue eyes and sulky lips finally have a purpose. To that end, MacFadyen's Darcy is believable and one can feel the repressed passion burning under the excessively cool exterior.
What of darling Lizzie? Keira Knightley, for the first time, fails to annoy or provoke spitting. She's absolutely delightful and utterly enjoyable in the role of Elizabeth Bennet. Standing next to the ethereal Rosamund Pike, as Jane Bennet, it's easy to see why Lizzie would be considered "tolerable". In fact, the casting, down to the youngest Bennet, Kitty (Carey Mulligan), is spot on.
All that is left, is to tell Jane Austen's masterpiece with great direction and artistry. It's a lovely production and I enjoyed it almost as much as the 6 hour BBC epic (starring Colin Firth). Joolie, I know, I know! Sacrilege! It's true though. I was giddy like a school girl on summer holidays when Mr. Darcy crossed the lawn to meet Lizzie. I was biting my nails when they danced for the first time. I was throwing food at the TV in disgust at Lydia's pretentiousness. "My Wickham"! Kiss my ass biotch! I was hissing at Mr. Collins. It got me, okay. It got me good.
|
|
0 Comments
|
| |
| I LOVE YOU ALL!!! |
| 04.06.06 (3:51 pm) [edit] |
Yes, I do. Even you who left a fart waiting for me on the elevator this afternoon. I love you - every single one of you. Even you who cut in front of me in the line at Tim Hortons and bought the last cherry cheese danish. I love you - every single one of you. Even you who slapped my ass inappropriately in front of coworkers and asked me if I've been working out. I love you - every single one of you.
Nothings going to bring me down, today. Not any single one of you.
|
|
1 Comments
|
| |
| Dear Anonymous Spammer |
| 04.05.06 (9:03 am) [edit] |
Who left 17 comments on my blog about various pharmaceutical drugs, please
FUCK OFF!!
Thank you. That is all.
|
|
0 Comments
|
| |
| Coma Cabana |
| 04.03.06 (11:58 am) [edit] |
Her name was Paris, she was a ho', girl
With bleached platinum hair and a dress cut up to there
She would dance on tables and shake her tatas
And while she tried to be a star, E! would be there
Across the crowded floor, with a camera crew of 4
She was an heiress with no class at all,
Who could ask for more?
At the Coma (CO!), Coma cabana (Coma cabana)
The trendiest spot for debutanas (here)
At the Coma (CO!), Coma cabana
Coke and heroin were always the fashion
At the Coma....she fell in love
With herself!
|
|
0 Comments
|
| |
| Movie Review: A History of Violence |
| 04.02.06 (6:41 pm) [edit] |
Now available to own or rent on DVD
Rating: 3/5
Starring: Viggo Mortenson, Maria Bello, Ed Harris and William Hurt
I've watched some violent films in my day (see February's review of Running Scared, for example). I've seen some messed up shiat on the small and big screen. Honestly, I thought I'd become desensitized to fake violence. I was wrong. A History of Violence is full of blood, guts, broken bones, ripped flesh and splattered brains, and it doesn't matter whether "he had it coming" - you're never allowed to become comfortable with it, as the characters themselves struggle to deal with the "blood on their hands".
In a sense, the violence in this film is refreshing. The hero doesn't just kill the baddies and go on with his life like he's had a bad day at the dentist. There are real emotional consequences - lots of soul searching and self-discovery. The film speaks to the beast within all of us, capable of the most horrific things. Yet, we're not all serial killers. Obviously there's a part of us that regulates the violent side, keeps it in check, suppresses it and it's only ever unleashed when everything we hold dear is under threat. Still, when the beast is unleashed, there are consequences.
Viggo Mortenson plays Tom Stahl, a small town family man with a dark side. When circumstances force his darker side to emerge, it threatens his very way of life. Mortenson plays Stahl with a subtlety and earnestness that draws you in. You see the pain, torment and fear in every look. He's paired with Maria Bello, a favorite actress of mine. Bello plays the loving and supportive wife with an edge. Her scenes with Mortenson are as intense as anything I've ever seen.
History's one failing is its conclusion. It's unsatisfying and leaves several questions unanswered. Still, it's a well made film - well acted, directed, written. Definitely worth a look.
|
|
1 Comments
|
| |
| Win a date with Fabio! |
| 04.02.06 (6:12 pm) [edit] |
Yeah, um. No thanks, Oral-B. If buying your toothbrushes increases my chances of being in the presence of that no-talent, braindead, waste of human flesh, I think I shall switch to Reach.
Blech!!!
|
|
2 Comments
|
| |
|
Ayn Rant: AESav.net
Daft and Demented: Mal Uncensored
Captain Jack Sparrow
Shop DangerKitty on Zazzle.com
|
