Scandal Rocks Captain Jack's Presidential Campaign


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Scandal Rocks Captain Jack's Presidential Campaign
04.19.04 (4:45 pm)   [edit]
Recently, a tabloid magazine published photos of 2004 Presidential hopeful, Captain Jack Sparrow of the National Pirate Party (NPP), with his campaign security adviser, Will Turner, in a compromising position. Later CNN broadcasted a video with the two men adding to the speculation that Captain Jack and Mr. Turner are in love and that should Jack be elected President, that Mr. Turner would be the first male First Lady in America's history.

Captain Jack's campaign spokeswoman and current flame, Mal, denied any knowledge of such a relationship and stated that, "Jack might wear eye-liner and walk daintily but he's not gay...not that there is anything wrong with that! Jack has always been deeply in touch with his feminine side and I think people aren't used to his pirate values and manners."

She also added that Mr. Turner and Captain Jack are very close and that Mr. Turner is happily married to Elizabeth Swan and the two are expecting a child in September. Captain Jack has been asked to be the child's Godfather. "Remember that Will saved Jack's life back in Port Royal. He holds Will in the highest regard."

Here's a clip from the video. Judge for yourselves.




At a recent press conference, before the photos and the video were released, Captain Jack was asked to express his view on gay rights. In typical fashion Jack responded "Love is love and money is money. If he's got the gold to share, I'll marry him! As you can see by my teeth, I'm high-maintenance."
 


posted by: cmaze (reply)
post date: 04.19.04 (2:24 pm)

lol! i love the updates on jack sparrow campaign! keep it up. (i think hes bi-curious....LOL)



posted by: deputyoflove (reply)
post date: 04.19.04 (2:25 pm)

Hmm interesting very interesting



posted by: Recon (reply)
post date: 04.19.04 (2:26 pm)

LOL!! great blog..I'll keep checkin in to see the updates!





posted by: StarryEydDancer (reply)
post date: 04.19.04 (3:07 pm)

Hahaha thats a great clip
--thanx for the tbucks! i really dont know where that came from but thank you sooo much!
-Annie



posted by: Mal (reply)
post date: 04.19.04 (4:21 pm)

It's all a hoax. That video was actually video of ME and Jack, having a private, or not-so-private, moment at our resort in Tortuga. Somebody replaced me with Will, and went around saying Jack was gay, until the tabloids got hold of the video.
But you didn't hear any of this from me ;)



posted by: Andaloo (reply)
post date: 04.20.04 (12:47 am)

This is scandalous gossip. Walking daintily is an aspect of his craft that Captain Jack studied long and hard to perfect at RADA. See attached report card;

“Jack excelled in gait class this year, however a b- in “make-up” class needs addressing. It is our experience that students failing make-up class should stick to simple black eye liner when (if) working”.




posted by: Anne-Marie (reply)
post date: 04.20.04 (6:13 am)

I sooooo love that clip:) That was the version of the film I saw lol lol



posted by: J (reply)
post date: 04.20.04 (10:16 am)

::screams:: this is just toooooo funny.



posted by: sephorith (reply)
post date: 04.24.04 (11:02 am)

wow... mmmmmmmmm.... my favourite pirates...

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