Laundromat


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Laundromat
05.31.04 (2:51 pm)   [edit]
Today I filled out one of those stupid polls that ask you absurd things like "If you were candy, what would you be?". The first thing that came to mind was "chocolated covered nut". Yeah, sounds about right. I'm in the laundry room at the back of my complex. It's 92 degrees and rising outside. The laundromat, of course, is a fiery 98 degrees according to the thermometer by the door. Nice. I've got three loads of laundry going now and I'm filling out this poll from my junk mail to pass the time between wash and rinse cycles. At the end of the poll, I realize that in order to get any meaning from the results, I will need to mail the form in and pay my own postage. F**k that. I rip up the form and toss it into the garbage. There's 5 minutes of my life I want back. What life? I'm hurrying to get my laundry done so I can rush back to an apartment the size of a large garden shed to a sink full of dishes, a bathtub with moldy tile grout and two DVDs that I have been unable to bring myself to watch since I rented them 10 days ago.

Anne's in London now, I think. Should be in France by the weekend. She will celebrate D-Day with the veterans. Here I am on Memorial Day doing laundry - capping off one of the most mundane and dreary weekends ever. I check washer #1 and realize it's still a few minutes away from needing fabric softener. I step outside onto the relatively cooler veranda of the laundromat. I tilt my head to the right allowing the subtle warm breeze to plant kisses on my neck and left ear. I close my eyes and try to imagine I'm on the North Pole or some place chilly. It's not working. The wind dies and is replaced with what feels like a wall of sweat. It's humid now and my once poofy hair is sticking to my scalp, damp and lifeless. I go back inside, washer # 1 needs fabric softener. I wait for the light to come on for washer #2 and add fabric softener. Washer #3 is retarded and will probably take another 10 minutes to catch up. I can hear it groaning and struggling with the 3 towels and sheet set I placed in it.

I go back outside to see if I can catch some more of that breeze. Instead I am left frozen and speechless by what I see across from me. Across a small grassy area from the laundromat is an apartment building. On the lower back patio, a man sits on a deck chair with his back facing me, cigarette in right hand while his left hand is pulling and shaking something in front of him. He's trembling and convulsing in excitement. There is no doubt in my mind that this apparently grown man is w**king off on his patio in broad daylight in clear view of anyone passing by the laundromat. I turn away in disgust. I wonder if he knew I would be watching. Why do that on your patio and not in your bedroom or livingroom couch? He wanted to be seen but had done one decent thing in turning his back. Was it really for decency, or did he want an observer to feel guilty? I didn't spend another second trying to figure out the Pervert on the Patio. I felt it was too hot and I was too tired to become annoyed or aggravated. I went back inside.

Washer #3 finally needed fabric softner. I empty the first two washers and set the clothes to dry on Permanent Press. My work here is almost done. If only washer #3 would move its lazy ass. The light for the final spin comes on. I pace the laundromat. I'm alone, so I can act like a complete lunatic. I glare at the washer as if that would make it finish faster. I'm tempted to kick it when I notice that someone has removed all the graffiti that had previously been all over the washers. Somewhere in Austin, a wanna-be gangbanger is heartbroken. Future customers will not see his lame-ass symbol and know to fear him. Whatever. Finally, bi-otch! Washer #3 is done. I empty it's contents into the dryers, set them and head off. Pervert on the Patio is nowhere in sight. I head to my little apartment with air conditioning and look forward to a tall glass of pink lemonade.

Next year, may be Memorial Day will be different. May be I'll do laundry for the veterans.
 


posted by: Shark99 (reply)
post date: 05.31.04 (12:28 pm)

Man, how can you stand that heat!!!!



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 05.31.04 (1:24 pm)

Reply to: Shark99
You get used to it.



posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 06.01.04 (6:16 am)

Twice, I've had men sit a seat or two next to me in theaters and start whacking off. The first time, I was rather naive - it was summer, I heard an unzip, but thought he must be wearing a jacket or something - until I saw out of the corner of my eye that hand motion... He got up and ran out of the theater.

The second time, the ass actually grabbed my head and tried to bring it down on his prick. I hit him, hollered "he is masturbating" and chased him out of the theater. It was quite a scene but they didn't catch him.

Now I go to the drive-in if I want to go to the movies alone...





posted by: kwurk (reply)
post date: 06.01.04 (6:55 am)

I like a good wank but i would be horrified if i thought anyone could see me.

(filthy dirty bastards who wank in public should have their cock and balls removed)



posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 06.01.04 (7:01 am)

What kind of world do we live in? People can do some disgusting things, and sometimes they are harmful to themselves, but when they totally disregard the well being of others, that's going too far. When a person can do something like this in public with little regard for anybody, yet it causes nothing more than a casual mention in a blog, it shows how wrong we have our priorities.

Little children could be walking by and it could affect their well being. They have little say in where they go when they are merely tagging along with their parents, yet they must be exposed to things like this and nobody is looking to protect them.

Yes, there are safe zones. Society does take steps to protect people in some places. If somebody did something like this in a school, the person would be in big trouble. He wouldn't get away with it in a movie theater these days either. But that does not excuse the fact that people are exposed to something like this in public places, and society does little to stop it.

It's time we take a stand and recognize that our own welfare as well as the welfare of our children is more important than an uncontrollable urge of somebody with an addictive, compulsive behavior. Let's take a stand against public smoking once and for all.



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 06.01.04 (8:18 am)

Reply to: mblog
"casual mention in a blog" - you don't hold back in your indictments do you?




posted by: lynne (reply)
post date: 06.01.04 (8:26 am)

I guess I am lucky. I have never seen a person masturbate in public. I have come across some couples who were having sex in public before though. I just said "oh pardon me" and went on my way.



posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 06.01.04 (8:39 am)

Reply to: dangerkitty

It wasn't exactly the focus of your post.



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 06.01.04 (10:35 am)

Reply to: mblog
And that was deliberate. I had contemplating telling the authorities about it but I was worried they would just laugh at me.



posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 06.02.04 (9:19 am)

Reply to: dangerkitty

They don't take it very seriously when you report somebody smoking.

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