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New Feature
06.15.05 (12:24 pm)   [edit]
I'm adding a new regular feature to Natblog. Hopefully it will take off like previous features "Crotch of the Month", "This Week in Stupidity" and "I Hate Tom Cruise". May be it will die in infancy like "Miss Jamaica Barbie". Don't remember that feature? Neither did I, apparently.

Anyway, Natblog in association with Tinctured Sphincter and The Kitten (It Knows) presents a Tasha Hollie J production in association with The Evolving Harem Project in association with EMU....

The Boyfriend of the Moment
Because a week, day or hour is just too long for this fickle heart of mine.

This moment's boyfriend changed 4 times during the writing of this blog which made things nearly impossible. Not a good start for a new feature on a blog that gets as much readers as the poetry of my navel lint. It's deep stuff, I tell you, but can it get a publisher? Publishers aren't looking for quality stuff anymore. Anyway, I digress. Back to BofTM.

At the top of the blog it was this man

then mid article, when I remembered how Clive made the word 'cunt' sound sexy in Closer, BotM became

and then by the time I started winding up what I wanted to say about Hugh Laurie's naked bum in Fortysomething I had dumped him for this man

who prefers to wear absolutely nothing under his kilt even when he's reading a scripture passage at his sister's wedding in a drafty cathedral.

This moment in boyfriend history brought to you by
Why haven't you called Crotchco!
Why haven't you switched to crotchco?

Also check out Meg's Boyfriend's of the Month. She has more restraint than I do, apparently. Meg rates her men on the MacGyver Scale, because like many girls our age, MacGyver's Richard Dean Anderson was the first mega-crush. Well, in that vein I have decided to rate all the BotM on the "Throw Down" Scale. This scale measures time I imagine it would take for the BotM to rip my shirt off, unhook my bra and throw me down on the bed (ranging from 0 to 90 seconds, because some of my bras open at the front). Clive, I imagine would earn a 45, because he's married and the guilt would make him tremble and slow his hands up a bit. Hugh, for the same reason as Clive and his age, would get a 65, that and he looks additionally clumsy. Gerard Butler would garner the best score of the three with a 16. Just as a point of comparison, Colin Farrell, who I don't like anymore, would have beat them all with a score of 8. I'm sure in the world of undergarments, there is nothing he could not dismantle in 5 seconds.

Tune in next moment for the new BotM. I have rewritten this feature 17 times.
 


posted by: Joolie (reply)
post date: 06.15.05 (9:29 am)

Awww print the picture of Macgyver too, its like a cute kitten I can't stop looking at those snake hips lolol Joolie xxx



posted by: Joolie (reply)
post date: 06.15.05 (9:30 am)

Actually I rate mine on the scale of "is he 6ft 1?" You can guarantee that any man I take a fancy too is that height! Joolie xxx



posted by: aesav23 (reply)
post date: 06.15.05 (9:37 am)

All them dudes is teh hawtnus!!!! :o)



posted by: aesav23 (reply)
post date: 06.15.05 (9:38 am)

Btw, I'm sure by now you've realized just how similar they all look in those photographs, right? You definitely have a "type".



posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 06.15.05 (9:46 am)

Gerry! *swoon... THUNK*
Gerard is the absolute sexiest man on the planet. I LOVE him in interviews, he's so animated and ... swoon! THUNK (there she goes again)



posted by: Anne-Marie (reply)
post date: 06.15.05 (12:27 pm)

I so agree about Clive and "that" word:)



posted by: BobbyJoe (reply)
post date: 06.15.05 (12:28 pm)

You're wonderful, you know that?



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 06.15.05 (2:19 pm)

Reply to: BobbyJoe
Thanks.

You're golden. Did you know that?



posted by: BobbyJoe (reply)
post date: 06.15.05 (7:07 pm)

Reply to: dangerkitty

No, I'm Purple. Where I come from calling me "gold" or "golden" is literally a very horrid insult. You didn't know that and that's why I haven't placed a bomb in your car.



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 06.16.05 (6:37 am)

Reply to: BobbyJoe
Well, thank you for showing such restraint. Where I come from being purple means that you're dead or about to die from strangulation. I was about to administer CPR, but I guess now my lips will never touch yours. :o)



posted by: BobbyJoe (reply)
post date: 06.16.05 (7:28 am)

Reply to: dangerkitty

Cute.

Say, everybody keeps sending me emoticons but, they never show up as pictures just punctuation. Any idea why?



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 06.17.05 (4:20 am)

Reply to: BobbyJoe
I think tblog disabled html in the comments after people started picture-spamming porn.

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