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| Cheer up, Chris Martin!! |
| 06.16.05 (9:35 am) [edit] |

I couldn't wait until the new Coldplay album, X&Y, made it's way to my local discount CD store and coughed up the MSRP (which is a rip off I tell you!) for it. Despite the digs and insults I have endured for years from friends that found Coldplay boring, depressing, overdone and a poor man's Radiohead, I have always maintained my affinity for their music. Parachutes was a pleasant surprise for me and a perfect addition to my "when the world kicks the shit out of me and I want to wallow in self-pity" soundtrack. A Rush of Blood to the Head just kind of won me over with Politik, The Scientist and Clocks showing up everywhere I went. No public transport, mall, elevator, crackhouse was safe. I'd pop into to the restroom to take a dump and before I could wash my hands Chris Martin would belt out "Nothing else compaaaaaaaares!" over the PA system. You could say I was beaten into submission. So once again, I dug deep into my pockets and paid full price for their second album.

So I was reasonably confident that after playing X&Y a couple dozen times it would win me over. I was wrong. It's hard to be won over by an album that basically consists of 2 songs being played over and over again but the words are different and Chris Martin adds an "Ahhh" and an "Ohhhh" in different places. No, seriously, they all sound the same. A handful of them just start out with Mr. Martin doing his harrowing emoting. "I'm in pain, people. Pity me." I just can't Chris. I can't. I can't follow you down that road again. It's not that I don't feel sad anymore. I do, I just don't believe in your pain. Your life is infinitely better than mine and you don't see me singing songs to soothe the masses as they collectively turn off the pilot light and stick their heads in the oven. Chris Martin and his gang of unmerry men have mastered the art of "slit your wrist" music. This album should have been titled "The X&Y of Suicide."
I am utterly disappointed. I am not sure what I expected but it wasn't this pile of shite. Ok, in all fairness, there are a few bright spots. Speed of Sound sounds like the most likely candidate to beat me over the head and make me love it. I take pleasure in listening to Fix You because I imagine it's all about that blonde bimbo, Mrs. Martin, and how seriously flawed she is. In fact, this crappy album, it's probably all her fault.
So I wanted to write a review on Amazon.com about it and was shocked to find how well-received the album is. Is it me or has Coldplay succeeded in its quest for world domination?
Okay, here is my song by song take on the album:
Speed of Sound - Catchy but it never quite lifts off so you're left a little frustrated. X&Y - Okay. Nothing to write home about. A Message - Done before. "You don't have to be alone." You know what, Chris? Leave me the (bleep) alone! Fix You - Hey everybody, let's play organ music and have Chris sing in super-duper slow motion but not in a clever way just for the heck of it. Low - The perfect name for this song, except may be it should have been prefixed with "all-time". Square One - My favorite because I could see it keeping me awake at night as it churns over and over in my head. Swallowed in the Sea - Chris sings a nonsensical nursery rhyme to Apple causing a massive seizure. Talk - Cute song. Cheesy lyrics. "I've been trying hard to reach you because I don't know what to do." Sums up the entire album's problem. The Hardest Part - My ears are bleeding. The hardest part was listening to this song. Twisted Logic - Hmmmm...why do I feel like I've heard this song before? Sounds like the theme to a Bond flick. No, seriously. What if - John Lennon is rolling over in his grave right now. Thieving bastards. Gonna rip off a golden one, at least make the lyrics have depth and meaning. White Shadows - OMG! I loved the 80's too! Til Kingdom Come - Dumbass lyrics set to a cute hokey tune. "I need someone who understands." Good luck with that.
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posted by: shimitsu (reply)
post date: 06.16.05 (6:51 am)
I like Coldplay as well.. to my surprise, this time they hav made some changes on the style. and the album is pretty good mastered..
posted by: Anne-Marie (reply)
post date: 06.16.05 (7:26 am)
Nat, did you know Chris Martin comes from Exeter? Thought you might like to know:)
posted by: dustyjumpwings (reply)
post date: 06.16.05 (7:20 pm)
Believe it or not, I've once felt this way about more than one Skynyrd album. But... if you keep listening to it, and expecially if they're your favorite band, it could soon become one of your favorite albums!
posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 06.17.05 (4:18 am)
Reply to: dustyjumpwings
I'm on playback #28. It's not working.
posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 06.17.05 (10:20 am)
Reply to: Anne-Marie
No, I didn't know that. I'm all the more disappointed then.
posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 06.17.05 (10:20 am)
Reply to: shimitsu
You can tell they agonized over it in the studio.
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