I Made Out with an Asshole


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I Made Out with an Asshole
03.16.06 (4:00 pm)   [edit]
Well, that title reads more disgusting than I intended, so my sincerest apologies if I offended your sensibilities. In all seriousness, I made out with an asshole - not a literal asshole but someone who deserves a kick in his.

It happened one fine evening not so long ago. I was feeling trapped and weighed down by my life and the ever growing things that I had yet to accomplish, like folding the towels in my linen closet. I needed to breathe and just escape from my suffocating reality of uncomfortable underwear and sub-par television programming. So, I called him, the asshole. No. I didn't call him an asshole. I called the asshole. You know, with a telephone? Yeah, anyway. He said "Come over."

I thought long and hard about it. Heheheh. Sorry, I can't type that with a straight face. He waited patiently at the other end of the line for my response before giving up with "I'll either see you or hear from you." So as soon as he hung up, I showered and headed out to his place as if hoping to get to him before he put the cordless receiver back in its cradle. I almost made it in time. When I arrived at the door, he didn't give me a chance to talk. He just overwhelmed me.

Two hours later, I was lying on my back, looking at the ceiling listening to him snore to the tune of Inna Gadda Da Vida. I was in heaven. I was so happy that I could see little blue and red cartoon birds gathering outside the window. He woke up several times throughout the night to get some lovin' and the morning came quickly. With it came a little more than the usual groaning and grumbling.

So when we parted that morning I figured that this was the beginning of something wonderful. What I didn't expect was to be ignored, mocked, rejected and neglected immediately after. The night came and went like a heroin-induced high. I crashed so fast with the realization that it meant nothing to him - just another night with another girl.

Oh well, it's not the first time and it won't be the last.
 


posted by: 5000 (reply)
post date: 03.16.06 (11:04 am)

Poor girl...i hope he reads this out.



posted by: aesav23 (reply)
post date: 03.16.06 (11:37 am)

I'm not sure what to say! On the one hand, I know you enjoyed yourself, and I'm glad you've got the memory of it to sustain you. On the other hand, he is...who he is. Did you think that would change?



posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 03.16.06 (11:48 am)

Assholes are sucky. But I hope he at least made that night worthwhile!



posted by: verucassalty (reply)
post date: 03.17.06 (10:43 am)

they can end up being so addicting...





posted by: dustyjumpwings (reply)
post date: 03.19.06 (10:32 am)

Well....at least you were happy at that particular moment, given the situation you had at home. I'm glad you had a nice break from that, even if it didn't last long.

But to reiterate what AE said, did you really think he'd change? He's already stated his case that he just wants to be friends, no matter how mixed the signals are :o/



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 03.20.06 (12:28 pm)

Reply to: 5000
Highly unlikely. Apparently blogs are beneath him.



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 03.20.06 (12:30 pm)

Reply to: aesav23
No, I did not expect him to suddenly not be a flaky-flake but you know how sometimes you just hope for change and then something happens that gives you more hope. Well, anyway, any hope I had was quickly erased. So at least it was immediate rather than dragged out. No regrets, really.



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 03.20.06 (12:33 pm)

Reply to: rosietulips
Worthwhile? Well, yeah, I'd give him a reserved "thumbs up". Nothing earth-shattering, ya know, but definitely a keen use of time. Keen. Jeebus. Keen. Yeah, odd choice of words but very appropriate.



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 03.20.06 (12:36 pm)

Reply to: dustyjumpwings
I'd totally agree with you had he not restated his case and changed his mind several times. So, for me, it's just a question of saying "STOP! Enough already." Which you know I have said before but that fell on his deaf ears. So what I really really really need to do is just be a cold-hearted biotch to him and just cut him off for good. But where would that leave me? Without one of my only two friends in this whole town. Can you please move North?



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 03.20.06 (12:37 pm)

Reply to: verucassalty
Is there rehab or Asshole-Magnets Anonymous?




posted by: dustyjumpwings (reply)
post date: 03.20.06 (6:55 pm)

Reply to: dangerkitty

Gee whiz. I don't know what to tell you then :o( I'd gladly move up there for you, but you know I can't leave the South!

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