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The Great Debate - Bogart or Hanks?
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| The Great Debate - Bogart or Hanks? |
| 03.25.06 (9:58 am) [edit] |
The idea for this blog came from an article sent to me by JoZ titled "Do Women Want Sensitive or Manly?". The article poses the question: Do we want steely, confident and ballsy Bogart from Casablanca or do we want sensitive, romantic and nurturing Hanks from Sleepless in Seattle?
First off, the question is an unfair one, for several reasons. It's unfair because it assumes men are single-dimensional, one-trick ponies, unable to have both a steely and a sensitive side and the ability to switch between the two when the situation calls for it. It's unfair, because like most women in the post-feminist era, I want it all. I should not have to "settle" for one or the other.
Secondly, the portrayal of men in the media seems to suggest where society would like us to lean. Film plots always reward the often dickish rogue over the mild mannered. Often times, the mild mannered man must find his inner dick in order to succeed. How many movies in the 80's and 90's were based on this premise alone. There's always that scene at the end, where the usually sensitive and unassuming man stands up before everyone and declares his true feelings - his romantic claim on the girl, his anger at the injustice he has suffered in pursuit of her, his willingness to kick the living shiat out of anyone who will stand in his way. Our hearts swell as we watch the underdog challenge the alpha male. So according to pop culture, we all want Bogarts - men who tell it like it is.
That is not to say that we want farking John Wayne, either. Good Lord, no! We don't want to be patronized women-folk in need of a good rescuing, a good spanking and a good rogering. I cried everytime Maureen O'Hara had to give in to the big lug.
We... well, let me speak for myself ... I don't want to be dominated or told what to do. That does not mean that I will not solicit advice about the goings on under the hood of my car. I don't need rescuing. That doesn't mean that I will not lovingly accept acts of chivalry. I don't need someone to constantly ask me what I'm thinking. That doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the concern. I don't need a man to cry while watching The English Patient. That doesn't mean that I won't make him suffer through the 6-hour BBC version of Pride and Prejudice.
All I am saying is that I don't want a man who can easily fall into one of the two categories. Most men don't - which makes me very happy.
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posted by: supremeanna (reply)
post date: 03.25.06 (7:55 am)
This is a fantastic entry! And you took the words out of my mouth (although some guys are one-trick ponies LOL). I think it's unfair to think that guys can be either sensitive or manly...why can't they be both, it makes no sense! Women can be strong and feminine at the same time. Equality means just that...equal! In all ways. I love strong guys, but I also want them to be sensitive...I hope I don't have to choose! :) Good blog entry, again.
posted by: dustyjumpwings (reply)
post date: 04.02.06 (9:46 pm)
I'll take Tom Hanks as himself. I haven't seen Sleepless in Seattle, but I've seen him in SPR and know he's got a tough side, AND he's sweet, funny, and the "nicest guy in Hollywood".
Which is why he's my favorite actor.
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