Commentary by Miss Jamaica Barbie 2002


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Commentary by Miss Jamaica Barbie 2002
08.25.04 (2:33 pm)   [edit]
Dear Readers

This is my first column for Natblog Magazine and I am extremely excited about it. At first I had a hard time deciding what to write about and after speaking with my editor (Nat), I realized that I'm just a brainless piece of plastic molded into the shape of a woman who has had two rows of her ribs removed, breast enhancement and leg-extensions. So all the pressure I had been feeling to write a brilliant and witty little column was gone.

"Frankly speaking, people will be surprised that you can spell "column" much less write a coherent and entertaining piece. So get over yourself and eat a hamburger, you skinny little biotch!" I'm sure she was only kidding about the last part. I mean, how could I possibly eat a hamburger. Not only am I too small but my lips are sealed.

Anyway, today I wanted to write about the stereo...the ster-e-o...hmmm ....sound it out....ster-eh-oh-tie-puh...nevermind. You know what think that people assume about you once you say you're Jamaican. Umm...gonna try one last time. S-T-E-R....UGH! Firstly, not all Jamaicans smoke pot/marijuana/ganja/weed....Now some of you who have visited our beautiful island have complained that you have been offered marijuana the second you stepped off the plane. Rooooight! While there might have been the odd incident, truth is most people that tell such stories are exaggerating or repeating a story they heard from another tourist who heard it from another tourist....So please don't just assume that we have a stash hidden somewhere or know someone who can hook you up with some premium cannabis.

Secondly, not all Jamaicans have dreadlocks or are practicing Rastafarians. Some people wear dreadlocks as a fashion statement, while others take things very seriously. I can't tell you how many times I have met someone only to be told that they are disappointed that I am not a real Jamaican with dreadlocks and all. How is it that someone who has never been to the island but seen a documentary on Bob Marley on TV is suddenly an expert on what a real Jamaican is?

Finally, Jamaicans do not run around the place 24-7-365 saying "Yeah mon! Irie!" It's really cute and brings us much joy and amusement when you all say it to us in the spirit of soli-...um, soili, no.....solid...sounding it... out soli-dar-ity....solidarity, but don't get carried away. What's cute at first can soon become a little annoying.

Well, that's all I wanted to say. 'Till next time. Soon come.
 

posted by: DarkMood (reply)
post date: 08.25.04 (11:40 am)

Stereotypes can be a bitch to deal with. Just because your from a certain part of the world, every moron out there thinks your just like that.
Nice little culture shock of reality when they realize that they're completely wrong.
Great Blog


posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 08.25.04 (11:48 am)

Reply to: DarkMood

Thanks



posted by: irishred (reply)
post date: 08.25.04 (11:52 am)

can i take a hit of your doobie?

Great column! I will be waiting for the next one!!!


posted by: Joolie (reply)
post date: 08.25.04 (1:41 pm)

Thers nothing like drinking Jamaican rum with a reallJamaican, and malibu's nothing like real rum......great to speak to you earlier! Joolie xxxx


posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 08.25.04 (4:31 pm)

When I think of you, I never once think of marijuana or dreadlocks or reggae or any of that. Bobsleds, maybe, but that's about it.


posted by: PiNkErBeLL (reply)
post date: 08.26.04 (7:51 am)

Ignore Craig and his faggot comments. GIVE me the doobie, and pass the rum


posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 08.26.04 (7:58 am)

Reply to: PiNkErBeLL

Got something against Craig?

For the last time, I do not smoke pot! :)


posted by: Anne-Marie (reply)
post date: 08.26.04 (4:09 pm)

I always think of you as English, don't know why lol xxxxA-M

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