Please don't make me angry


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Please don't make me angry
09.06.04 (6:14 pm)   [edit]
You won't like me when I'm angry. I've just spent the past 2 hours trying to trap and kill a cockroach that flew into my apartment when I went on the patio to water my plants. That's right, flew in. I hate flying roaches. Flying cockroaches are the Shaolin Warriors of the cockroach Kung Fu universe. They spend very little time actually on the ground in one place, bouncing around with the fluttering noises of their wings. Also, your everyday roach runs in fear at the sight of a human being. Flying roaches are the Kamikaze pilots of the cockroach World War II Pacific Theater universe. They fly right at you, hoping toe scare the living crap out of you, hoping you'll retreat and leave them all the tasty food on the counter knowing full well that they will die a miserable death once the human has recovered from the shock and taken off a shoe.

Anyway, my epic battle with the flying cockroach looked more like an episode of the Keystone Cops as I turned over furniture, broke a plate, sent food flying, ripped the edge of a curtain, lost my balance several times, tripped over the ottoman and finally after the 100th swat with my black flipflops made a direct hit. To my disgust, I had just stunned the pest. It got up immediately and tried flying at me. When I was 17 I went to tennis camp and was told that I had a wicked forehand. Before this afternoon, I had made very little use of that forehand. Today I struck that bitch, I mean that flying cockroach, cross-court, I mean cross-apartment towards the door.

Once again, it was only stunned. I knew it would fly at me again, so I opened the door and positioned myself. It flew at me again, like it was drunk on rage. It seemed more determined than ever to land on my boobs. Hell no! This time I delivered a crushing backhand down the line and the roach flew through the door, off the patio and onto the lawn. Maria Sharapova, eat your heart out! I slammed the door shut and took a shower. What a workout?!!



 


posted by: Believe (reply)
post date: 09.06.04 (3:17 pm)

Haha make sure you squiss the butt of the cocaroach since thats where there brain is lmfao. I like the blog cheers



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 09.07.04 (5:29 am)

Reply to: KRAZEDONE

No, ever the beacon of good taste, I wear short shorts.



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 09.07.04 (5:30 am)

Reply to: Believe

Thank you. I didn't want him dead as much as I wanted him out of my apartment.



posted by: Believe (reply)
post date: 09.07.04 (6:58 am)

lol krazy so krazy haha. She doesnt want to pull a anna kornikovia i dont think



posted by: Amezy (reply)
post date: 09.07.04 (9:27 am)

Really you did want him dead, otherwise he'll keep coming back and bring family, friends, pets and ex girlfriends that need a place to stay.



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 09.07.04 (9:49 am)

Reply to: Amezy

Ex girlfriends. That's all I need. Bad enough that I have to deal with Flying Mutant Ninja Roaches, but their ex-girlfriends?



posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 09.08.04 (7:08 am)

That picture scares me.....Joolie xxx

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