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Down at the Kwik-E-Wash!
02.03.05 (1:51 pm)   [edit]
For me, doing laundry has always been a therapeutic chore. Dirty things get cleaned and rejuvenated. Well, most of the time. Sometimes dirty things stay dirty permanently and end up in the trash with the lint and the dryer sheets. Yesterday's trip to the laundromat seemed like every other - two loads of linens, one load of whites and one load of warm-washed-colored, a head-butt to the dollar/coin machine, a Dean Koontz novel to read during the dryer cycle and a can of Diet Coke to make it all tolerable. Don't worry, Mountain Dew is still the official softdrink of Natblog. It's just that I gained 5 lbs over the holidays, another 3 lbs after I got depressed about gaining the 5lbs over the holidays and I lost -2 lbs on my new diet which I quit on Monday. So that's 10 lbs folks! 10 lbs since December. Anyway, I digress...back to the laundromat. I usually consider laundry day a success if

1. I only have to wash my brother's shirts twice with Oxyclean to get out neck and armpit stains
2. I don't drop a wet sock/towel/shirt on the gritty laundromat floor on the way to the dryer (ewwwww!) and have to rewash it.
3. I don't find some weird guy staring at me while I'm folding towels and sheets.
4. Said weird guy doesn't stop me as I am leaving the laundromat to go home to ask me if I can spare any fabric softener. Dude!! I'm half way out the door. Ask the lady with a mustache washing a quilt!
5. I don't lose more than $2.00 in machines that don't work.
6. Someone doesn't arrive just ahead of me with enough laundry to clothe the 101st Airborn Division, uses up all the working washers and dryers and then when I show up apologizes profusely and tries to give me directions to another laundromat 2 miles away.

Well, yesterday wasn't a success in any sense. I dropped shirts and socks on the floor when a kid rammed a cart into my shin while I was on my way to the dryer. His mother didn't even apologize to me. She just said, "He gets so bored here." Huh? Has the fine art of saying I'm sorry been lost? I had to discard 3 of Bud's shirts due to what I fondly refer to as "armpit rot." It's that thing that happens when a man who never has to do his own laundry decides to wear the same undershirt 4 days in succession until the armpit smells like a used diaper. Also, I lost $3.75 in broken machines and rewashing and this weird guy kept chatting me up while I was folding Bud's boxer-briefs. His opening line was "I bet your boyfriend likes it when you wear his boxers?"

"These are my brother's, and given his hygiene habits and the incest implied by your question, that would be disgusting."

Well, that's what I wanted to say. Instead, I just told him that I wasn't into wearing men's underwear. Like an idiot I went on to say that it wasn't flattering for my figure which made him feel comfortable discussing my figure which he did in pathetic detail. Anyway, I managed to get out of there without giving him my phone number and agreeing to meet for coffee because that would have been soooo horrible. Rooooight! I can't even get a date with the laundromat freak. I am losing my touch.

So the sun went down on laundry day. Everything is shiny, everything is bright...well mostly.
 


posted by: JT (reply)
post date: 02.03.05 (11:08 am)

No, kitty. It's not that you *couldn't* get a day with the laundry freak; it's that you *chose* not to. Rather smart, IMHO!



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 02.03.05 (11:12 am)

Reply to: JT
I was just being silly there.



posted by: jennirae269 (reply)
post date: 02.08.05 (2:11 pm)

I am so glad I don't have to go to the laundromat anymore! Especially since I usually wound up there at 3-4 am, when all the real winners were there!

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