It's come down to this


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It's come down to this
02.25.05 (6:19 pm)   [edit]
As some of you already know, in late December, about 4 months after Bud stopped doing laundry I moved in with him. Upon my arrival I was greeted with 14 black jumbo-sized garbage bags which I assumed to be just garbage. I was shocked to learn that this was the laundry he had neglected to wash for 4 months and that he was down to rotating three shirts, one pair of jeans, two pairs of sock and 3 sets of undies. He also couldn't remember the last time he changed the linens on his bed. YIKES! Bud didn't seem to care and I realized it was down to me to do something about the big black stinky pile of dirty clothes and linens.

Fortunately, my Mom was visiting for Christmas, so helped me make trips to the Kwik-E-Wash as we tried to etch away at the large pile up. Unfortunately, each garbage bag holds 2-3 loads of laundry and no matter how hard you try to keep up, the laundry monster grows exponentially. As the household laundry manager, I fight a daily battle to reduce the big black monster pile while trying to keep up with the current week's laundry demands. It never ends. Just when I think I've made a dent, like washing 8 loads in one sitting, I would return home to find 8 black garbage bags staring at me. UGH!

I'd do 12 loads at one time if I had the energy to fold 12 loads. It's just not humanly possible!! Just thinking about that makes my arms ache. Otis Redding sings "These arms of miiiiiiiiine! They are burning. Burning from folding you!"

Today I went to the laundry area and discovered that I had made a difference! It's down to 3 bleedin' bags. I almost fell over in glee! I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think I'm going to cry when the garbage bags are gone, take some vicodin for my back pain and sleep for two weeks. Wait, if I sleep for two weeks there will be according to my calculations 8 loads of laundry. Ok, I will sleep for two days.

Then almost as quickly as the happiness hit me, I remembered that I am going away for two weeks. You'd think I'd be happy to go on a trip to see my friends in Austin and my family in Canada. I am, really. It's just that I know when I get back, those 3 bags will be there plus 4 loads of dirty clothes, a kitchen developing biohazards, a moldy bathroom and chips and sunflower seeds all over the couch. May be I should just stay home. Nah, I have to go.

In order to stem the tide that will await me when I get back I put the 3 remaining bags in Bud's room and left him a note.





 


posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 02.25.05 (3:26 pm)

Yep! Obviously a sign of too many clothes.

I'd add a rule - that anything not sorted by him, automatically goes to the Salvation Army. And that the "wash" pile may NOT be larger than the donate pile.



posted by: EvilEye (reply)
post date: 02.25.05 (3:47 pm)

Ahh stop the laundry! Maybe he can hire someone to do it for him.



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 02.25.05 (3:55 pm)

Reply to: EvilEye
Yeah, I wish that was the case. Unfortunately we're both broke and I'm "free" labor.



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 02.25.05 (3:56 pm)

Reply to: almsthvn
Brilliant ideas! I'll use them both.



posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 02.25.05 (3:58 pm)

Reply to: dangerkitty

Can you tell I live with someone very similar ;)



posted by: adpierin11 (reply)
post date: 02.25.05 (4:06 pm)

wow i could not live like that... you must have worked your butt off :)



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 02.25.05 (5:45 pm)

Reply to: adpierin11
Apparently not. My butt's still rather large.



posted by: DutchessRuthine (reply)
post date: 02.25.05 (7:10 pm)

I love the note! It's brilliant!
I think I may have to make similar piles of my own now. Heh!



posted by: dustyjumpwings (reply)
post date: 02.26.05 (12:12 am)

.....sunflower seeds? Wow, he's a *man* who's eating something that's actually pretty healthy, this is almost to be considered a world event!
Love the note too btw (what exactly IS a "WTF pile"?), and, if I were closer, I'd try to help you out with all that crap... Eh. Men!



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 02.26.05 (9:22 am)

Reply to: dustyjumpwings
A WTF pile if for things neither of us can identify as clothes, towels, bed sheets, etc. It's so filthy and worn that it's unrecognizable and should be sent to the CDC or NIH for inspection.



posted by: SusanofPudlin (reply)
post date: 02.26.05 (8:08 pm)

Dear Nat,
My dear friend and her husband are to be extras with Mr. Johnny Depp in the sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean filming in St. Vincent. I will try to get the goods (ie any laundry he leaves hanging around. or an autograph.) Your preference.

Seriously. My friend is the captain of the Bounty. Who knew!



posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 02.26.05 (8:27 pm)

Oh Susan, that is awesome!! My friend Mal and I are squeeing at this very moment. Do you think your friend could get Johnny to sign a photo saying "Mallory, you're not a eunuch, are you?"
The last bit is a quote from POTC.
::Squeeee::

Hmmm...St. Vincent. I have an ex-boyfriend that lives there. I'd be tempted to get back together with him to see filming but he's married now.



posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 02.28.05 (8:07 am)

I like that squiggle thing thats going on with your name - is that like when Prince went to "squiggle"? Just dump it all thats what I say, I tried to sort out my clothes on the proviso that if I hadn't worn it for 2 years it was going to charity, I ended up with 1 small bag -who knew? Joolie xxx



posted by: kreativekat (reply)
post date: 02.28.05 (6:31 pm)

lmao. The note is like the cherry on top.



posted by: jennirae269 (reply)
post date: 03.01.05 (12:29 pm)

I think at this point I would give up and haul all of the bags to the salvation army! If it has been there that long and he hasn't said have you seen my "insert article of clothing" , then obviously he isn't interested in wearing any of it anymore. Make him go out in his undies, and then maybe he will learn to help you with the laundry. He is not a child. And you are not his mother!

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