Review: Bennifer II - Demonseed


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Review: Bennifer II - Demonseed
05.09.05 (11:13 am)   [edit]
Bennifer II: Demonseed is a Labor of Pain!
Reddy Burgin, Cokeville News

“Bennifer II: Demonseed” is one of those films that should have really thrilled. It should have been the first truly Oscar-caliber flick of Jennifer Garner's career with its West Virginian Family values, larger-than-life chins, and reasonable ensemble cast. Its director is Us Weekly, the never-to-be-Pulitzer-nomi nated celebrity scandal rag behind such films as “Britney's Preggers” “Brad Shags Angelina Noisily”, “Paris Hilton is an Alien” and “The Blade Trinity Hottie is a Rugmuncher." Its star is one of the hottest TV actors around, Jennifer Garner of the “Alias” series and “Felicity.” It's leading man is also one of the biggest male-bimbos in Hollywood, Ben Affleck of "Dogma", "Changing Lanes", "Chasing Amy" and "Breakfast on Jennifer's Ass". And its supporting cast of Jennifer Lopez, Casey Affleck, Matt Damon, Michael Vartan, and Scott Foley is a casting directors’ dream list if he were unable to get Kiera Knightly, Jeremy Irons, Liam Neeson, Brendan Gleeson, and Edward Norton.

Instead, the project is so irritatingly boring and predictable that it’s darn-near vomit-inducing. It is not a disaster on the level of Gwyneth Paltrow’s insane “Apple,” which was arguably one of the worst celebrity pregnancy epics ever made. But, hey, in that film’s defense, at least “Apple” wasn’t boring. Who am I kidding? "Apple" was boring. I mean, both her parents are boring. Paltrow’s spawn had the face of a cocaine-addicted conspiracy theorist, eyes like a magic 8-ball, and paced back and forth, ranting about the government. “Demonseed,” by contrast, moves with all the grace and momentum of a senior citizen student driver trying to merge onto the local interstate and as a result has garnered as much interest as Pauley Shore's sperm on ebay.
Current Mood: :evil: bitchy
Current Music: B.Y.O.B. by System of A Down
 


posted by: Anne-Marie (reply)
post date: 05.20.05 (12:30 pm)

Aww Nat, they make a cute couple, even though Jennifer is more butch than Ben:)

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