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| A Match Made in Heaven |
| 05.21.05 (5:51 pm) [edit] |
...a heaven where barf-bags and ginger ale are kept handy. Tara Reid has signed on to host E! Entertainment Television's world-wind, party-crashing, guilty pleasure "Wild On". I cannot think of a single individual more suited for the job. It's as if all the hard work Tara Reid has put in dancing on tables, having gross men do body shots off her skeletal frame, snorting coke, throwing up in the flavor of the month's lap and giving the paparazzi a free peak at her butchered tatas has led up to this very moment. Party girls out there should take note. You can be a ho like Tara too and get your own TV show where you're paid to do something you'd do for free.
Now speaking of well made matches in the real world, my friend Missi Jackson has found herself a bonafide beau and he's a real cutie. He's perfect! He watches The OC and Everwood. That's right! He's a film buff with a great sense of humor from all accounts and Missi Jackson seems really happy at the prospect of spending more time at Happy Hour or in front of the TV set with this guy. I guess he deserves a nickname of his own. He's just that cute. Hmmmm... I got it. I will call him Missi-Match! Get it? Heh. I crack myself up.
Also worthy of note, I got AE addicted to Veronica Mars!! At first she resisted my attempts but after watching Jason Dohring (who plays Logan Echolls) for more than 20 seconds, she fell in love with the show. Now I have to keep reminding her that not only is he married, he's a Scientologist (just like my arch-nemisis Tom Cruise). Speaking of that waste of human flesh, Tom Cruise is now dating the wholesome cutie Katie Holmes. That right there is a match made in hell, the kind of hell in which Satan is tired of being mistreated and by his partner, Saddam Hussein. Let's size them up. Katie stands at a graceful 5'9" and must kneel down 2 inches so she does not end up kissing Tom's large forehead when they make out in public. All their public displays of affection have left many feeling squicky while others cynically mention the release dates of their upcoming films. Apparently Spielberg has spent a fortune on War of the Worlds and isn't taking any chances that the gay rumors surrounding Tom Cruise might hurt his film. Rumor has it that Katie's been promised a role in a Spielberg film if she can hang in there with Tom until June 29th. Ok, Rumor doesn't have it. She's too busy trying to get over the fact that her mother is having Ashton Kutcher's baby. I made that whole crap up.
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posted by: BobbyJoe (reply)
post date: 05.23.05 (2:16 pm)
You are a jewel, you know that? Expect to hear from me on aregular basis again.
Oh, before I forget, what's "squicky" mean?
posted by: dangerkitty (reply)
post date: 05.23.05 (3:08 pm)
squicky
adj, adv. vomitacious
eg. Gwyneth Paltrow's voice makes me feel squicky.
Oh, and if I'm a jewel, you're golden. No, wait, you're platinum!
posted by: dustyjumpwings (reply)
post date: 05.26.05 (6:19 pm)
"that waste of human flesh" LOL
You could walk up to him like Basil Fawlty with Manuel - "Manuel, you're a waste of space. *smacks him on the head with a soup spoon*"
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