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| Shetty Kiss |
| 04.27.07 (2:34 pm) [edit] |
Richard Gere faces a possible 3 months in jail for a kiss on the cheek.
I think it's ridiculous and ironic that this obviously gay man might be jailed for kissing a woman. No one thought of that poor hamster's modesty or dignity when they were removing it from Richard Gere's ass, so I just don't understand the big hullabaloo ... well except for the fact that Gere's a bit culturally inept. Given his frequent visits to the region to visit the Dalai Lama, you would think he would know better.
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8 Comments
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| $5 million in 825 Theatres |
| 04.22.07 (7:55 pm) [edit] |
That's how much money Hot Fuzz made in limited release in the US this weekend. I wish they'd hurry up and widen the release so that my podunk theatre could show it. ARRRRRRRRRGH!!!
Nevermind. I have managed to view Hot Fuzz through perfectly legal means. Really. Let's just say that it required a long road trip and zero shame. Ahem.
The following review has a few minor spoilers. It should only be read by those who have already seen, or have no intention of seeing the film.
Cast: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jim Broadbent and Timothy Dalton
Rating: 4 out of 5
We might as well get the comparison with Shaun of the Dead out of the way. Hot Fuzz is funnier than Shaun of the Dead and suffers from none of that film's drawbacks. There are no dead and annoying scenes, there is no dead and annoying Nick Frost (he's in it but he's neither dead nor annoying) and there is no brain-dead and annoying girlfriend.
What we do get is 2 hours full of British dry humour mixed with slapstick/over-the-top laughs that are sure to split your sides and cause you to snort Diet Coke out of your nostrils. Ouch! Another point of comparison with Shaun, is the zombie-like behaviour of some of the characters in the film. Also, there's lots of blood, gore and scary head wounds.
Pegg plays uber-cop, Nicholas Angel, who gets re-assigned (for good behaviour) to a seemingly innocent small town in Gloucestershire (pronounced "gloss-stir-sheh" for you non-Anglophiles) where he is paired up with the immature but affable Danny Butterman played by Nick Frost. The film is entertaining on many levels. It's part Agatha Christie's Miss Marple, part buddy-cop-action-thriller -spoof, part gore-fest, and part romantic comedy.
Say what now?
Yes, it is part romantic comedy. I know I said there wasn't an annoying girlfriend in this film but the chemistry between Angel and Butterman is so palpable and sweet, that when the two of them fall asleep together on the couch after bonding over Bad Boys II, you can't help but let out an "awwww". Their budding friendship and comraderie is at the heart of this film.
The Miss Marple bit comes in the form of the sudden and gruesome deaths of some of the town's citizens. Angel is convinced that these deaths are all linked and that the deliciously menacing Simon Skinner (Timothy Dalton) is somehow involved. As the newbie in town and in the local constabulary force ... er ... service, Angel's theories meet on deaf ears. With some old-school detective work and the faith of his partner, Butterman, Angel strives to get to the bottom of things.
The films buddy-cop-action-thriller -spoof roots show up particularly in the pivotal last 30 minutes of the film when all Hell breaks loose. Crazy, ridiculous, cringe-worthy and exhilirating come to mind. My favourite bit involves what happens Timothy Dalton that makes him wish for bit of ice cream. Poor sod!
Overall, I had a great time and I enjoyed the small roles played by a menagerie of fave Brit actors (Bill Nighy and Martin Freeman, to name two).
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13 Comments
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| Simon Pegg Interview in Latin |
| 04.17.07 (4:34 pm) [edit] |
I snuck on the set of Hot Fuzz with the sole purpose of stalking Simon Pegg. At first I peeked in his trailer. It was unoccupied. I then went into Nick Frost's trailer. This too was unoccupied. Undaunted, I got in line with a bunch of extras who were being ushered onto a sound stage. I managed to ditch this particularly sadistic assistant director who wanted me to put on 6 inch stilettos, feed him crushed peas and call him "Baby Brian" before bumping into Mr. Pegg. He was in make-up having his front dusted. Pegg's secret enemy is apparently overactive sweat glands. Also, Pegg had apparently downed 5 cans of diet coke prior to my arrival and his verbal diarrhea bore a strong resemblance to Latin. He however agreed to be interviewed, so long as I kept on the 6 inch stilettos and painted his toenails fuscia. So this is the jist of our conversation and what I think he was saying or trying to say in Latin.
HB: Do you think you'll ever be as famous as Brad Pitt?
Simon: Ab asino lanam - Wool from an ass, blood from a stone.
HB: What now?
Simon: No.
HB: Oh, ok. With your success in North America, has it been difficult for you to deal with possible jealousy back home?
Simon: Belua multorum es capitum. Aliena nobis, nostra plus aliis placent - People are a many-headed beast. Other people's things are more pleasing to us, and ours to other people.
HB: What kind of lover would you say you are?
Simon: Bis dat qui cito dat - He gives twice who quickly gives.
Nat: I'm confused. Are you saying you're fast or you would prefer to give head than to receive?
Simon: Bis vincit qui se vincit in victoria - He conquers twice who in the hour of conquest conquers himself.
HB: An hour. Okay. That's not bad. So you finish first then?
Simon: Bene, cum Latine nescias, nolo manus meas in te maculare - Well, if you don't understand plain Latin, I'm not going to dirty my hands on you.
HB: Shall I take the shoes off then?
(Simon shakes his head.)
Simon: Certamen bikini-suicidus-disci mox coepit? - Does the Bikini-Suicide-Frisbee match start soon?
HB: I wasn't aware that this was that kind of movie.
(Annoyed, Simon rises from his chair and stumbles a bit.)
HB: Dude, are you okay?
Simon: Crapulam terriblem habeo - I have a terrible hangover.
HB: Sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can get you?
Simon: Cur etiam hic es - Why are you still here?
HB: So I guess that's the end of the interview.
(Security arrives. They point me in the direction of the exit)
HB: Thanks anyway, Mr. Pegg.
Simon: Aeternum vale. Braccae tuae aperiuntur - Farewell forever. By the way, your fly is open.
HB: Oh, thanks.
I manage to avoid deportation.
Previous Latin Interviews:
2004: Colin Farrell on the set of Alexander
2004: Ben Affleck
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1 Comments
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| Brain Farts |
| 04.17.07 (3:16 pm) [edit] |
An observation (or ten):
Last night, after I got in from Toronto (7 hours round trip), I just crashed on the couch. I didn't make it into the rest of my apartment until like 3 hours later. I could hardly move. I managed to flick the remote with my foot onto my chest (ouch!). Mindhunters with Eion "Frickin' " Bailey was on - starring the receding-hairlined Christian Slater. Anyways, I remembered towards the end of this shitfest that Gerry (Butler) had been cast as Slater's character but turned it down because of conflicts with Timeline. It got me thinking - both these movies totally sucked ass but at least in Timeline, Gerry got to hold a big sword and got the girl - making Timeline marginally more entertaining. Anyway, it got me to thinking how far Gerry has come - from chewing scenery in Attila, butchering Andrew Lloyd Webber to gay porn fodder for all eternity.
"This! Is! The Magna Cartaaaaaaaaa!"
Meanwhile, Daniel's Craig has just come in my mail. He's been cast in another film with his Royale co-star Eva Green, who I want to hate but can't. How can you hate a woman named Vesper Lynd? I want to change my name to Vesper Lynd. Seriously, I kid you not. She's not reaching Angelina Jolie girl-crush proportions but I envy those deep green eyes and flawless skin. She could eat a hamburger or two, though. Anyway, Daniel and his Craig will be essential viewing tonight along with Hugh Laurie - House is torturing a 6 year-old this week. Should be awesome.
Also, I need Clive Owen to show up a little earlier in my dreams. Lately, he arrives about 6:58am, which only leaves me 2 minutes to get what I need to get done. I wonder if he's tardy like this on set? So, Mr. Sandman, you know the score.
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| TV Review: Robin Hood |
| 04.13.07 (11:43 am) [edit] |
Premiered on BBC America, Saturday March 3rd.
Remember the A-Team? Knight Rider? Xena and Hercules? Add Robin Hood to the pile of cheesy crusader TV shows, with eye-roll-inducing plot devices and dramatic license up the wazoo, filled with adorable but paper-thin characters. Check your brain at the door but bring your fans, ladies - Nottingham and its surrounding areas are filled with the most handsome villians, thieves and peasants. The only character with a bit of depth is not Robin Hood, but his nemesis, Sir Guy of Gisbourne, played with steely-eyed menace by Richard Armitage. He is the only character whose motivations are explored in any detail. Everyone else is a cardboard cut-out. Robin is a smarmy arrogant imp that never met a target he couldn't hit. Much is his sycophantic side-kick. Marion is a repressed and oppressed tomboy. The Sheriff is a manipulative, woman-hating, sadistic, lazy and selfish bastard with a Napolean complex. Little John is a hot-headed brute. Will Scarlett is clever and resourceful. Alan A Dale starts every sentence with "I'm not trying to be funny but ...". DJaq is the token female with unlimited knowledge of physics, chemistry and medicine. There is something to recommend about this show. The acting is quite good, which ranks it above many other shows in the cheesy-crusader category. Jonas Armstrong's Robin has at least 15 facial expressions, which is 14 more than Kevin Sorbo and David Hasselhoff combined. The show is worth a look, but don't go crazy and start Tivoing it.
Previously published on March 1st, 2007 on my LJ.
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1 Comments
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| My Biography |
| 04.13.07 (11:17 am) [edit] |
Thanks to Mad Dr. Mal (a.k.a. Dr. Crotch) for taking the pains to write such a tender and loving novel about my very uninteresting life.
The book will be out on May 1st, 2007.
Summary: A young girl realizes that her obsession with Peter Jennings is becoming unhealthy. She finds comfort in the arms of a young and idealistic Prime Minister. Unfortunately he becomes jaded by his position after being bullied by successive US Presidents and turns into a complete wanker, breaking her heart.
Oh, Tony, Tony,
Where did our love go?
Ooh, I don't want you
I don't want you no more
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4 Comments
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| Return of the Nat |
| 04.02.07 (3:02 pm) [edit] |
Well, it has been a long term and a really really long time between blogs, but I am just checking in to let you know (especially Missi Jackson) that I am not dead and lying in a pool of my own [Insert disgusting body fluid of choice. May we suggest blood, urine or vomit?]. So, what has your intrepid blog-friend Nat been up to these last few months? Here's the short version. Relax. You will never get the long version (unless prompted).
1. A long bout of foot-in-mouth disease, highlighted by my telling a hottie coworker that I could not go out with him one weekend because I was trying to pass a kidney stone. It's true. I did spend 72 hours trying to pass a kidney stone, but he really didn't need to know that much detail about my alternative plans for the weekend.
2. I've been absorbing as much Gerard Butler as my poor cranium can tolerate. He has reached Boyfriend of the Week status for four weeks running. I guess that makes him Boyfriend of the Month, but I'm not one to change labels. It all came to a head upon viewing 300 (a.k.a. 300 half-naked and chiseled men running around with enormous, l o n g, firm and pointy swords for 1 hour and 56 minutes - It's just easier to say the short version).
3. I've been slowly trying to incorporate more fiber into my diet and it has had um ... unsettling side effects. We will not expand on this any further.
4. Work. I currently have the equivalent of 4 jobs. 2 full-time and 2 part-time. I am so exhausted, I'm too tired to "burn my elbows" and that is a shame beyond shame. This of course does not mean that I'm earning mad money. Hardly. 3 of my four jobs are currently nonpaying or voluntary.
5. I had sex with Will Ferrell. His wife is unaware, so I would appreciate your discretion on this matter.
Well, there you have it. The last few months in brief. See you in six months when I shall report on the state of my high-fiber diet.
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| Best of 2006 |
| 01.09.07 (3:43 pm) [edit] |
Last week I blogged about the Worst of 2006, now here are the films and tv shows that I loved, thoroughly enjoyed and didn't hate in 2006.
Best Movies (I have seen last year):
I haven't seen Children of Men, The Good Shepherd, The Illusionist, A Scanner Darkly or Pursuit of Happyness, so this list is clearly incomplete. In descending order of nattiness:
1. The Departed
2. The Prestige
3. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
4. Casino Royale
5. Borat
6. The Queen
7. Thank You For Smoking
8. Hollywoodland
9. Clerks II
10.Little Miss Sunshine
Honourable Mention: Invincible, Cars, Wordplay, The Devil Wears Prada, An Inconvenient Truth, V for Vendetta, Flushed Away.
I'm embarrassed that I liked these: The Benchwarmers, Lucky Number Slevin, Silent Hill, Stick it, 16 Blocks, Slither.
Best TV Shows:
I have seen at least 8 episodes of these wonderlings. In descending order of nattiness:
1. Dexter
2. Battlestar Galactica
3. Veronica Mars
4. Heroes
5. 24
6. Project Runway
7. The Amazing Race
8. Family Guy
9. House
10.Everybody Hates Chris
Honourable Mention: Ugly Betty, The Office, Scrubs, The OC (fourth and final season),
Really Guilty Pleasures: Girlfriends, What Not to Wear, Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, Wife Swap.
Best Big-Screen Moment: Tom Cruise dying in Mission: Impossible: III (although shortlived).
Best TV Moment: Logan Echolls smashing the windshield of a law enforcement vehicle on Veronica Mars.
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| Worst of 2006 |
| 01.03.07 (1:23 pm) [edit] |
Later this week I will hand out my awards for Best of 2006 but right now I am in the mood for throwing tomatoes. **SPLAT**
Worst Movies (I have seen this year):
I didn't see Little Man, Big Momma's House 2, The Man, All the King's Men, Lady in the Water or Black Christmas, so this list is clearly incomplete. In descending order of shittiness:
1. Turistas
2. Shut Up & Sing
3. Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny
4. Open Season
5. Employee of the Month
6. Jackass: Number Two
7. Flyboys
8. School For Scoundrels
9. John Tucker Must Die
10.Snakes on A Plane
Dishonourable Mention: Saw III, When A Stranger Calls, BloodRayne, Eragon, The Wicker Man, Beerfest.
A Bit Disappointing: Superman Returns, X-Men: The Last Stand, Deja Vu, Talladega Nights, Gridiron Gang.
Worst TV Shows:
I have seen at least 1.5 episodes of these shitfests. In descending order of shittiness:
1.'Til Death
2. The Class
3. Vanished
4. Deal or No Deal
5. Celebrity Duets
6. Seventh Heaven
7. Wicked Wicked Games
8. Passions
9. Show Me the Money
10.Runaway
Dishonourable Mention: Smallville, One Tree Hill, Watch Over Me, According to Jim
A Bit Disappointing: Lost, Day Break, South Park, Girlfriends, Desperate Housewives.
Worst Big-Screen Moment: Naked wresting in Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.
Worst TV Moment: Photos and video footage of the execution of Saddam Hussein airing on all the major news networks. Show some frakkin' restraint, CNN. Cutting away before the trap door gives way really doesn't spare the viewers much, especially when your next clip is of a dead Saddam with his eyes staring coldly at the camera. Blech.
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